Chapter Eight- Janet

I looked at my watch on my wrist anxious about being on time. It was nine fifteen and I had just pulled up outside Embargos in a taxi driven by the most daring cab driver I have ever witnessed. I swear he could not have had a driving licence, the way he was driving. I hurriedly stepped out the red Mazda and into the after work party district. I dusted off my blue off the shoulder top which I had grabbed up Westend after work and straightened my black high waisted skirt which complimented my black and blue stilettos. I don’t know why I was making such an effort, it was only a drink. I strutted carefully pass these two white men, who gave me a wolf whistle as I wined passed. I hadn’t seen Marcus ‘officially’ for near enough a year and I know he will be looking fine as usual.
The door was opened for me by the middle aged Columbian door man, and I walked through the heavy glass doors into the dimly lit bar. I scanned the room to look for Marcus, as I turned to my left I noticed him waving towards me from a secluded corner of the bar. I strutted towards him with a huge smile on my face, as he mirrored my action with his arms open.
“Hey beautiful. Damn you look good” He said as he twirled me around.
“Same to you babes” I expressed as I we held each other in a tight embrace for about thirty seconds. Anyone who saw us could tell that we had missed each other immensely.
I unconsciously licked my slightly glossed lips. I looked on and admired Marcus, still as suave as ever, wearing a chocolate brown suit, with a pink shirt with the top two buttons undone displaying his sexy chocolate skin. Damn, he knew how to pull off a good suit. My eyes drifted as I sat there thinking, how did I ever let him slip away after that night. What really was going through my mind! This was something worth risking. We had never fully regained the friendship we had after that night. Everything changed.
Now, here we were meeting together after all this time. What really was on his mind? Did he just want to catch up, or does he have something he needed to tell me to my face? My suspicion grew stronger, as I smiled happy to see him. Well it can’t be anything worst than how I treated him, I thought. He’s back in town, and I’m sure I could make reparations. Did I even want to? Fear was over shadowing my senses. Please God let me get through this evening.

I loved quiet spots like this, although it was in the heart of the wine bar district, Embargos was for the grown and sophisticated, the working folk, who wanted to be secluded from all that ‘young hype’. Everyone in here looked like they had just come from work, or had enough money not to work, but the environment was not pretentious.
“Here babes. I ordered you a brandy cocktail. You still like them don’t you?” He murmured so close up to my ear that it sent a slight shiver down my spine as I took the cocktail.
“Yes, I do. I don’t like how you know me so well” I said cheekily, with a flirtatious smile on my lips, whilst flicking my fringe from my face.
“Come on, give me some ratings. We spent so much time together in college, of course I know you like the back of my hand. Actually I think I know you better than I know myself babe”
We both laughed, walking over to the huge vacant comfortable white leather sofa, surrounded by dimmed honey lighting and a few people in deep conversation. We sat down, adoring the sounds of the live band playing on the back stage.

We sat for an hour engrossed in conversation, discussing the latest progressions in my life and his new promotion. Marcus shared his troubles moving back to London and his newly purchased three-bedroom house in Streatham.
I was so proud of him, who would think that the little street boy Marcus would be so successful, I mean he was always running after women like they were going out of fashion, actually let me correct that, they were running him down. I suppose they could see the potential in him, because he was always hard working. He did actually put his head down despite his reputation, and he always had high ambitions, I’m so glad that he has succeeded.

The conversation became light, discussing the bands collaboration of music. As I peered over my tall glass, I could see that Marcus was itching to say something; he looked as though he couldn’t contain his self any longer, itching to say something. I was right! Just like he could read my thoughts he opened his mouth and mentioned that night…
“What happened in Manchester Jay?”
“Marcus, look I’m sorry about what happened that night, I just….”
“Jay, actually don’t worry bout it. I haven’t held it against you. I understood where you were coming from; you had to protect your own interest”
“Hey! Don’t put it like that, I did not act selfishly, I mean… I was just scared”
“Scared of what Jay, I would never hurt you” He said with a sincere look on his sweet face, his brows sighing in disbelief.
“I know, but I was scared to lose you as a friend, you meant the world to me and I didn’t want to risk that changing”
Where was I going with all this honesty! I’ve only had a few drinks, now I was here pouring out my feelings, which I had suppressed for so long. What am I doing, I sound pitiful.
He leaned his chair closer, drowning out the sounds of the background distractions. “Jay, I felt the same way, but that night felt so right. I mean I felt at one with you. I thought the feelings were mutual…”
“They were… I… look it was a long time ago. Now, you’ve moved on, I’ve moved on. Let’s just leave it!”
“This is what you do every time, brush it under the carpet. Jay we need to talk about it. I need to know how you feel about me”
“Why? Look I told you. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, you have always been special to me, we have been there for each other since college, and I didn’t want that to change”
“Okay. So that’s how it is yeah? You care for me like a best friend?” He said frustrated.
“Yes!” I lied.
“And nothing more?”
“Why are you interrogating me? I have told you already!”
“Okay, okay… babe, I’m just asking. Let me get you another drink”
As Marcus went over to the well stocked bar to get me another cocktail, I sat thinking. Why don’t I just tell him the truth? The truth that I am in love him and always have been, and that night just made my feelings stronger. I just can’t seem to get the words out.
He doesn’t really need to know how deep it actually is, does he?
What if he feels the same?
He hasn’t really spoken about his true feelings. Well I haven’t actually given him the opportunity to do so. Maybe I should just tell him…
Nah!

As he stood at the bar, with his body learning partially over the counter I sat there admiring his physique letting my thoughts run away, picturing us together happily married, and visualising what our children would look like, would they inherit his strong sexy features, with his gorgeous brown eyes that shone like the sun through a glassed stained window. Would our daughter be as pretty as him? Would our son be athletic and charming like him! I shook the thoughts out of my head. Argh, I’m driving myself mad! I forced the vision back into my ‘what if’ memory bank as Marcus came walking back over to me, reclaiming his seat.
“Here Jay. Look I’m sorry for pestering you about it. Your right we should just move on, I won’t mention it again. But I just needed to know. From the first time I met you I knew we had something special and I am glad that we are still friends to this day babe. I’m just sorry that we haven’t been as close the past few years…”
“That’s fine, it’s my fault as much as yours, but mainly yours, most important thing is that we are here now”
“I know, thanks for coming. I mean I didn’t actually give you a choice did I?”
I had to laugh at that, because he actually didn’t, although I wanted to meet up with him anyway. I'm glad he actually made the first move.
“Jay, look I have something I need to say to you, it’s been on my mind for ages and I feel bad that it has taken me so long to pluck up the courage to say something”
Wow, he rushed his words out so fast and his face looked serious. He leaned closer, looking around uncomfortably. What was he possibly going to say? A thousand things ran through my head, but I could read Marcus like a book. His left eyebrow was raised, which indicated that it was something which I would not be too happy to hear.
He took a deep breath and began talking…
“Jay… remember I told you about the girl that I’m seeing at the moment?”
“Oh yeah, the ‘Personal assistant!’ I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“Yeah, well its going okay, and err… we have been together for almost six months now, but err…urmm… we getting married next spring”
OH MY GOSH! My heart stopped beating. What was this that he was telling me! Please say that this is all a bad dream. I cannot believe what he just said, what happened to not wanting to hurt me! My lips won’t move… good evening heartache! Why, why, why?
“Jay, I’m sorry...thing is, I haven’t known her for that long and I’m not sure about the relationship, but Jay” He took a deep breath. “she’s pregnant…”
I couldn’t utter a single word, I just sat there with a blank expression on my face, frozen on the spot. I can’t believe it got worst!
“I’m only doing what’s right for the child, what choice do I have?”
My world had just crumbled before my eyes. How could he, how could he get that woman pregnant! He has only known her for a minute, how could he be getting married! She is a professional bitch! She has never liked me. Ever since she’s been around she has been trying to throw a deeper wedge between Marcus and me. Now look! I can’t breath… but I need to say something, I can’t let him know how much this is hurting me! Compose yourself, I must get it together!
I shifted in my seat, increasing the space between us. “Wow…that’s a surprise. Marcus the sweet boy, getting married and having a child, damn. Your gonna have to throw away your players card now!”
“I know. It’s not something which I planned, I mean I can’t believe it myself, Jasmine told me and I just couldn’t believe it. Me, going to be a father. I had to propose to her, my mother just wouldn’t let it go. I mean she tried to make me tie the knot before the baby is born, but I don’t think I can handle that”
“What do you mean? Come on now, your going to do it next year, you must love her” My gosh those words were so hard for me to get out, I don’t even think I even want to hear the answer. I retreated back into the sofa, scared of the oncoming verbal slaughter.
“To be honest with you... I’m not actually sure. It’s all happened so fast, I haven’t had time to evaluate my feelings, all I know is that I’m going to be a father in six months for sure. Jay…I’m doing the right thing aren’t I?”
“How can you ask me! You must know what you’re doing, you obviously knew what you were doing when you slept with her unprotected” I snapped not realising that my feelings were being exposed right now.
“You know what Jay, your right I’m not going to make no excuses but she was supposed to be on the pill, but I should have known better, and now I’m just taking responsibility for my actions”
“What you saying she trapped you?”
“I’m not saying that, but she did tell me she was on the pill. You remember that one girl in college that time that lied to me and told me she was pregnant”
“Oh my gosh, yeah now that was funny, she was the girlfriend from hell, she wouldn’t stop at anything to get you back! Damn!” At this point I actually cracked a smile and a giggle, as I rose back out from the shadows. Now that was a funny moment in time.
“I’m happy for you I suppose. I’m just shocked that your tying the knot before all of us!, You’re the last person anyone would see getting married!”
“Excuse you, your going on like I am such a hoe” He laughed.
“Oh please, don’t play innocent with me. So full time commitment is knocking on your door, smelly nappies, pushing buggies all that heading your way!”
“Don’t remind me, I always thought it would be different, you know with someone else…”
His eyes glistened as he looked at me. Was that directed at me? Why would it be? My emotions was getting the better of me so I interrupted the tension and got up rapidly. I can’t pretend anymore all this talk was cutting me in two. My voice croaked “I’m going to the ladies, be back in a minute”
I hurried over Marcus’s legs and rushed to the bathroom almost bumping into the foreign waiter holding a tray of drinks.
I wiped under my eyes carefully, not wanting the mascara to smudge. Oh my gosh, I just cannot believe what he has just told me. I looked in the mirror, Thank God I didn’t tell him how I actually feel about him. I would have looked like a right fool. All this is my own fault, it could have been us together! Why did I kick him out that night, why! Now he is marrying that bitch, I know she planned this. Fuck! How did this happen. I want to cry so bad.
I can’t think straight.
Marcus is getting married!
I forced back my tears.

As I walked back to where we were sitting I thought about what he last said, about him wanting it to be with someone else, because I wished this was not happening. I wished it were me. He was the perfect man, good job, career minded, he knew how to treat a woman. He was family orientated, and God fearing so I understood where he was coming from proposing to her, but why now, why her!
“Hun are you okay?” Marcus asked sincerely, the light giving him an angelic appearance.
If only he could read how bad I wanted it to be me, how bad I wanted this all to disappear, how much I really loved and cared for him. But of course I couldn’t tell him that, so I lied again!
“I’m fine. Look its getting late, I need to get to bed, got a meeting early in the morning”
“Sure. Jay” He reached out and held my hand. “ I just want you to know, you’re very special to me, and I’m sorry about leaving it so late to tell you. I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else. I just… didn’t know how to tell you, just in case… you know!”
“Marcus, it was a long time ago, I’m past that now. I’m happy for you, really I am, it’s just a shock because we used to be so close. I just thought you would have spoken to me before making such an important decision. But I know everything is different now”
“No it is not Jay. Not if we don’t want it to be”
“Come on lets be real here. Number one your woman, well fiancée does not like me, never has and doubt if she ever will. Our friendship cannot get any better, not if she has anything to do with it. I would love it to be how it was back in college, but it never is going to be. I will still love you the same, you will always have a special place in my heart, and I hope I will in yours”
He lent forward and held my hand, rubbing it gently with his thumb, whilst he searched my eyes for what I was desperately trying to hide.
“Of course you will Jay, I’m telling you. You and Me for life no matter what, you remember what we used to say?”
We both laughed and said it together “We will ride or die together, friends forever, M&J”
After we finished reciting our little pact, I stood up and wrapped my scarf around my sholders before quickly walking out of the now quiet bar. Marcus was close behind me trying to keep up my hurried pace. He reached out and held onto my arm, forcing me to slow down before questioning if I had drove. I explained that I had not, and he offered me a lift home. My heart was aching me, there was no way I could be around him any longer so I declined. I needed to be alone right now. I believe he understood, as he didn’t put up a resistance like he would normally do. I needed to digest what I had just heard.
Once outside we shared a hug and another goodbye as he gave me a kiss on the cheek, before looking into my eyes and rubbing his thumb against the same spot he just sanctified. He was so seductive without even knowing it. The streets were busy and noisy, with drunk people falling out the bars in search of food. Marcus ushered me close to protect me from the oncoming barge from an unconcerned young lad. He looked as though he wanted to hold me close and never let me go, but reality hit me as I waved goodbye as I flagged down a passing taxi and jumped in, leaving him standing on the cold pavement, alone.
Damn, how did I mess this up, I have lost the best man in my life and I know that no one can ever come close to Marcus, not even remotely.

Chapter Seven- Leyah

It was almost eleven o’clock and I was ready and waiting, pacing up and down my living room peering through my wooden blinds, out into the dull street with over grown hedges. I looked on watching my neighbour Paul effortlessly wash his Ford Escort with his tanned hands, taking so much pride in his modified car as he rubbed off the daily dirt.
I looked up into the sky, feeling a little guilty that I couldn’t even tell mum that I was going out with that bastard Reese today. Damn, she would come straight down here and give him a peace of her mind, like she did every occasion she could. The man repulsed her, and I can’t blame her. He hurt her daughter, and my poor mother had to help me to get over him. For weeks I would not eat, all I would do is lay in my bed crying, pregnant with his child, asking God why me!

Reality struck me as I watched Mrs Henry’s fifteen year old grand-daughter, strutting down the road with her aluminous skirt, matching leg warmers and white vest. What was I actually thinking! How could I even think about going out in public on a family outing with this fool? He better not get used to this, because this is the first and the last. I walked back over from the book shelf, I can’t let this man take control over my life again!
I stopped and looked out the window as I noticed Reese’s sparkling Black Jeep pull up outside, the rays of the sun reflecting off his flawless bodywork. I grabbed my short denim jacket off the banister as I rushed out into the hall checking myself in the handcrafted mirror and re-spraying my Marc Jacobs perfume before taking my time to stroll out the door, acting like I was not sitting by the window waiting.
As the light breeze touched my skin like a piece of soft wool, my anger faded away and introduced me to an optimistic mood. The weather had actually kept to its promise and remained sweltering, the sun appearing through the perfect white clouds in the clear blue sky. Asia was sitting in her safety seat in the back, wearing a Baby Phat dress in her favourite colour pink. She waved her little palm frantically through the window, surprised that her mother was actually coming out with the two of them.
I opened the heavy passenger door, and entered onto the cream leather seat. “Hey, you’re on time” I said stunned, then I turned and directed the rest of the conversation at my beautiful princess, sitting with hair in two white bobbles, which was one of the only styles Reese could perfect. “Baby girl, did you miss mummy?’ She responded giving me a shy smile, and exposing her pearly whites.
“Leah, I’m always on time babes, you know me!” He said offended, as he easeed the gear into drive.
“Humm don’t I just! So what did you tell her and what did she say?” Reese coughed nervously, which meant that he was about to make up a story. “And don’t lie to me. You didn’t tell her did you?”
“Well, I told her and she was like… she doesn’t know why you should come. So I explained to her why I wanted you to come, for Asia’s sake, and then we had a big disagreement… and then she told me not to come home if I go today!”
“Look I don’t want to be causing any problems between you and her, you’re the one who has to go home to that afterwards and you ain’t sleeping on my sofa tonight” I said firmly, watching him grip the steering wheel tighter.
“Did I ask if I could? Please she can’t keep me out of my own house if she wanted to! It’s sorted anyways. Like I tell her all the time, my baby girl comes first!”
“Hmmm, so when you two having kids, so that she can say the same crap to you. Then what would you do then. Forget about your baby girl?”
“Don’t be silly. Look can we just forget it and concentrate on our day” He stressed, looking into his side mirrors before turning onto the open duel carriageway.
“Well like I said to you before, I don’t want any more drama on my door!”
“Don’t worry bout it Leyah. Forget all that. We are going to have fun today, aren’t we Princess?”
“Yeah daddy”
The roads were only plagued with a few cars on this wonderful day, which was a surprise. Maybe everyone had set off earlier to head to the popular destination of Brighton. Luckily the journey was not too far from my house, meaning that I did not have to tolerate sharing a confined space with this bastard. We sat in silence most of the way listening to some old school R&B, as I looked out the window watching the cars fall behind us on the motorway as Reese clocked 120 miles per hour in the fast lane. The drive was awkward, but we occasionally engaged in some small talk to make the journey seem quicker.

I watched the horizon as the sea got closer, and the smell of fresh salt water and seaweed hit my senses. We had finally reached Brighton, and it was only twelve o’clock. The streets were packed with people trying to enjoy the sporadic weather. Amazingly Asia was actually awake, taking in her surroundings excitedly.
As we neared the sea front, Reese drove around looking for a parking space amongst the packed streets. Eventually he spotted a green people carrier exit a spot, leaving it open for him to steal before anyone else spotted it. I climbed out and stretched my limbs, as Reese went and assisted Asia. Thankfully we were parked a short distance away, mentally remembering where were had parked Reese lad the way towards the Aquarium, Asia skipping along quickly trying to keep her fathers pace.
As we walked passing the happy people skating along the pavement, and the children eating they’re ice-creams, Reese could not let the silence be blissful.
“Look Leyah thanks for coming with us, it means a lot”
“Like I said before, I’m not doing it for you I’m doing it for our daughter. Did you even bring a camera?” I said in a sarcastic manor, shaking my head.
“What do I look like? Look I know your only doing what’s best, that’s what I love about you. You just…”
I stopped in my tracks. “Okay, stop right there! Don’t be reminiscing about things, lets just do this get it over and done with. So we can both go back to our normal lives, okay!”
“Okay, sometimes I just would like to talk to you about how things are going, you know. We can at least maintain a friendship so to speak”
“Reese, why are you chatting BS. What is it that you want to find out? Just be open. We don’t need a friendship, we have a daughter together and we only interact because of her, or else I would not be talking to your lying, cheating, scandaless ass no way!”
“Leyah, I’m sorry yeah. I’m sorry for what I did to you in the past. I’m sorry for being a bastard to you, I admit I got caught up and did not realise the implications of my actions. I regret it like I have told you over and over again. I just want us to move on from that!”
“What do you mean move on? Move on and do what? I’m here with you now, this is moving on. We have to do what we have to do. You say sorry like it’s your middle name. I just can’t believe you at times!”
“Leah Leah, I’m sorry” Reese said sympathetically, as we regained our pace to Asia who had ran ahead.
I ignored him, rolling my eyes as we reached the entrance of the aquarium. Reese handed the young brunette cashier the tickets, with Asia holding onto his hands jumping up and down excitedly.
I must admit, Reese seemed more genuine today than he has in a long time. I wonder if everything is okay between him and his fiancée. I wonder what he is up to. Look how he has got me, always thinking like a paranoid fool!

We walked around the aquarium looking at the beautiful sea life. Asia was so excited and was enjoying every moment of it. Reese was taking loads of pictures and got a few passers-by to take some of all three of us like he intended. As we reached to the gift shop we purchased a few souvenirs and Asia sat and got her face painted like her favourite Disney character Nemo. I must admit it was fun, as I watched Asia’s little face light up when she saw he reflection in the mirror and the smile on Reese’s face.

After we exited our tour of the aquarium we decided to walk along the busy Pier to get something to eat. Passing one of the amusement stands Reese could not resist trying to win a teddy bear.
“Look I bet I can win my princess one of those teddy’s. Which one do you want baby?”
“Errm, the pink one daddy”
“Reese you can’t win one of them, come lets go in case you make a fool of yourself” I laughed.
“Please! Don’t insult me, watch and learn darling!”
Reese began to frantically try throwing the plastic rings on the bottles for twenty minutes and must have spent about fifty pounds doing so, until he finally managed to get three rings on the bottles. Well the man let him off on one of the rings for trying so hard and gave him a prize for the share determination. People looked on bemused at my hysterics.
“Well! Well done. You actually won a prize”
“Shush you. I told you I would do it, and I wasn’t leaving until I fulfilled my promise”
“Please, it wouldn’t have been the first time you didn’t fulfil your promises” I always had to get a dig at him anyway I could. He just looked at me and didn’t even bother to answer that one.
We continued to walk, stopping to buy some ice lollies before arriving at the rides. I stood enjoying my cherry brandy lolly while Reese took Asia on a few of the children’s rides. Her little face looked like she was bursting with so much fun, I looked on admiring her happiness and innocence. Deciding to be a part of it, we all went on the teacup and saucers and the merry-go-round. We were laughing and joking together like there was no tension between us, like we were the perfect family. Damn let me come back to reality, this is what that bastard wanted, for me to think about the good times we could have so that he could sneak back into my heart like a serpent in the grass and sting me full on! I am not going to let him do that to me again!

The sun was beginning to descend, it was getting late so we decided to start walking back to the car, Asia was tired and I was happy that she had such fun. I could tell that she was pleased having both her parents together, enjoying themselves. She had this constant grin on her face, her little dimples prominent on her small cheeks that favoured her fathers too much.

On the drive home Reese started talking about the old days and the fun which we used to have. I had to remind him that he was doing the same things with his woman, and that what we did actually meant nothing! But I have to admit we did have some fun, I actually never experienced so much fun in all the past relationships I had been in. Even though our time was all a huge lie. I was happy until the day I found out about him and Shantel!
“Leyah, you look distracted”
“Nah I’m fine” I muttered turning from the window to answer him. I didn’t want him to have the pleasure of knowing that I was reminiscing on the good times we used to have.
“Well, thanks for coming today. You know it meant a lot to Asia and me”
“I didn’t do it for you Reese. I did it for my little girl, she is all that matters in this relationship”
“Oh… so we have a relationship now then!” Reese said trying to wind me up.
“Shut up Reese, you wish” I sort of sniggered.
“In deed I do” He laughed. “I know that it was hard for you to come out today, but we have had mad fun babes. I hope that we can do this again… I mean Asia would like it.”
“Reese, stop! You know this was a one off and I don’t think your fiancée would like to know that you are associating with me, not that I would anyway!”
Reese let out a sly laugh “That’s what I love about you, you’re so head strong and feisty at times!”
“Humm, and your woman doesn’t know how to stick up for herself, coz if I was the one in her shoes I would off buss your head a long time ago and you would of felt my raft big time!”
“Damn, I’m glad your not then” He laughed again “Leyah, you look very nice today, if you don’t mind me saying”
I turned my face and blushed, fact was I knew I did, and yes I spent a lot of time thinking bout what I was going to put on today, shit I had to look good, because I knew he would be watching me and Reese is the type of man who cannot let a good compliment miss his lips. My tight light denim jeans, which made my backside look so round and peachy did me justice today. I liked that fact that Reese noticed me and was still sexually attracted to me, he made it so obvious at times being unable to control his stare. It made me feel good, and to be honest I also enjoyed flirting with him, because I know he regrets the fact that I didn’t stay after finding out about Shantel, but hey he has to live with the fact that he missed out on a good thang!

Reese turned the powerful jeep into my road, pulling up outside my door and parking up. He put his gear in park, pulled up the handbrake and turned off the engine as the stars glistened outside in the night sky.
“Leyah, I’m going to carry Asia in the house, she’s sleeping and I don’t want you to struggle with her”
“Reese shut up” I laughed. “Look, your delaying going home, so don’t play dumb. I know your tricks now; you were driving at thirty miles per hour all the way back.”
“Okay, so I am. Can you at least let a man keep his pride! Is it okay if I come in for a bit?”
“I suppose that’s the least I can do, even though I don’t need to feel obliged to do anything, but come on then” I unlocked my door and climbed out into the night.
Reese carried Asia upstairs and put her in her bed, it was 8.45pm. We had been out all day. I didn’t intend to stay out so long. I took hung up my jacket exposing my goose pimpled arms, as Reese came bouncing down the stairs like he lived here.
“Can I get a cup of coffee please, all that driving has made me tired” He stated as we both entered into the tidy kitchen. He sat himself down on the small dinning table, playing with the place mat.
“Hummm, you better not fall asleep, because you know that woman will be at my doorstep” I spun around suspiciously. “Wait a minute how comes I haven’t heard your phone ring once, she normally blows off your phone”
“I turned off my phone, because today was our day” He said trying to convince me that it was okay, avoiding any eye contact.
“Are you mad! I’m not surprised she isn’t waiting outside the door. Look have this coffee and then go straight home, its late she must be having kittens. You must have about thirty messages on your phone. Why would you do that?”
“Look Leyah, I just wanted some time to myself just put her behind me for a while you know. Clear my head…” He confessed, looking tensed before I cut him off.
“Clear you head for what? You don’t need to clear your head. You know EXACTLY what you are doing. Next time you want to clear your head, please do not involve me!” I demanded.
“Don’t worry bout it, its nothing. She knows the score and it’s not like we are going to end up sleeping together anyway” He said with slight suggestion. Watching me intensively, hoping that I would take the bait.
“That’s not the point, from when she gets that in her head, its just headache. Look call her and tell her your elsewhere”
“Leyah, are you asking me to lie?” He said comically. I had to laugh at the fact that I was actually asking him to. I was colluding with the gutter rat.
“NO, I’m not, I’m just saying tell her that you’re somewhere and go THERE!”
“Don’t worry I’m off in a bit. I won’t get you involved in my dramas anymore. I know that you have put up with a lot from me, and I do not want to get you involved for nothing. You’re a good woman and I don’t want to hurt you anymore”
Now I knew this emotional blackmail of his all too well. I would feel sorry for him and let him get his way. But not this time, he had to go!
He sipped on his coffee, as I looked on in anticipation hoping that he would just hurry up and get out. “Reese just go now and save the argument”
“Okay Leyah, I respect your wishes, thanks for the nice day” Putting his mug down on the counter, He retreated and walked towards the front door, walking with his head down like a sick pup. “I’ll call you… bye”
He shut the door behind him without a fuss or dispute, which surprised me. Normally he would protest against my wishes. I wonder what the deal really is with him and Shantel at the moment. Why does he not want to go home just yet? I mean he has work in the morning and given the circumstances he should be running home. Oh well that’s not my problem, he made his bed, now he has to lie in it.

Chapter Six- Keisha

The moon was glistening through the blinds in the living room, as Bobby and I sat down in the comforts of each others presence, reflecting on the moment; happy to be with each other, happy to be holding our bodies close. We huddled together relaxed on the sofa watching CSI. It felt nice to have him back.
At times everything was just so peaceful, no noise and no phones ringing. I hated when his phone always rung, interrupting every moment it could. Its like the caller just wanted to irritate me at every chance and Bobby knew I hated the fact that his phone was so hot, as soon as he put it down it down, it would ring again! Now all I do is just shoot a look in his direction and he knew to cut the conversation short.
Tonight there would be no interruptions, just me and him, our night.
“Baby lets go to the Indian restaurant in Camden and then come home. Then I will run you a nice hot bubble bath and wear something special for you” I whispered seductively.
“Yeah, that sounds good boo. Let’s do that, then come back and enjoy the rest of the night. I’m just not sure that I will be much company, I’ve had such a strenuous day. I had to work out for that role all day today” He said while he was rubbing the back of my hand.
“I know baby, that’s why I’m gonna come home and help you relax, give you a nice massage…” I said running my hands seductively over his strong defined back.
“You, your so much trouble, be careful before you start something up in here, and you end up starving for the rest of the night!” He laughed, stroking my soft thigh, as he teased my lips with his inviting breath.
“Mmmm, how you know that’s not what I want”
He looked deep into my eyes. “Boo, you know I love you so much and I love being with you, I’m just glad that we are back together, and I promise I will be everything you expect me to be”
“Baby I know. I feel the same. You know how much I love you too. I just want everything to be perfect, and we know what we want now” I said trying to reassure him and myself.

I glimpsed the Sky display on the plasma, it was now eight thirty. CSI had finished, so I decided to get up and start getting ready, leaving Bobby on the comfortable sofa in his Arsenal shorts, with his leg raised up flicking through the channels. It didn’t take him long to get dressed, he wasn’t a finicky man. But he always dressed good, always went out to impress just in case he bumped into a film director or a talent scout. Not that it ever happened!
As it was a pleasant mild evening, I decided to put on my black low neck dress with my thick brown buckled belt and my tanned brown Miss Sixty boots. I admired my reflection in the full length mirror, damn Bobby had one fine ass woman. I must admit I looked good tonight, and I wanted to. I wanted to make an extra effort because I wanted this night to be perfect. I didn’t want anything to go wrong tonight, I just wanted to be alone with my baby boo.

We gave our order to the well mannered greasy haired waiter, whilst we sat at the simple dressed table with one red rose and discussed the plans for booking our holiday and the ideas we had for decorating the flat. Although all the decorating ideas were his, I just sat there agreeing, rubbing his soft palm enjoying the fact that I was making decisions with someone else other than myself.
When our piping hot meal came we sat there feeding each other and staring into one another’s eyes, silently declaring our love. He could be so romantic at times, and I loved that so much about him, he would be the perfect husband one day, with a lot of training!
We both sat in the filled restaurant flirting like it was our first date, everything was just perfect and after we would go home and continue this lovely romantic evening just the two of us.
As I finished drinking my white wine, to wash away the taste of the naan bread interrupting my plans right on schedule just as if the bad omen was listening, waiting to spoil the moment Bobby’s phone began to ring…
“Hey what’s going on?” His face changed. “What? Don’t lie, didn’t I tell her about moving with that fool…I told you it would bring nothing but trouble, she don’t know who she is fucking with and now I have to sort this all out, coz that man don’t play, he will shoot her for that shit”
His voice had changed and at that point I knew the night was not going to end how I expected it to, as per usual. I let out a huge sigh and shook my head in disapproval as the candle on the table felt my pain and the flame wittered out.
Although Bobby had his head focused and was doing good for himself now, considering the things he used to get up to back in the day, he was still that bad bowy underneath, he still knew how to hold his own. I must admit this turned me on about him, the fact that he was not some man who pretended he was something he was not. He was a little thuggish and sometimes he still had to resort back to that mentality in order to let people know he hasn’t gone soft in his old age.
“Look, shush man. I’ll sort it out. I’ll phone you back”. He shut his phone off, licking his lips to get ready for the next instalment.
“Don’t even say what I think you’re going to say” I said as I pushed up my face, furiously crossing my arms, rolling my eyes like they were looking for the back of the sockets.
“Baby look, I know your gonna cuss but I have to sort this out before it gets out of hand. Shanny is going to get her head buss, she’s gone and mess with Riddlers money and he don’t play! I have to go down there and chat to him” He said with conviction, his arms describing his irritation.
“That’s not your business Bobby, why do you always get involved in her mix up. I don’t know why you run around with that girl. She’s just involved in so much shit, look at her with her criminal lifestyle and shit, thinking she’s better than others, and you sit and collude with all that rubbish” I started to raise my voice, and Bobby could see that I was becoming aggravated. He reached into his back pocket and took out his LV wallet, raising his hand for the bill.
“Boo calm down. Let’s pay for this and get out of here”
“Yeah let’s get out of here! Why? So that you can run to her defence like a good little puppy. What about us, what about our plans? Now your just gonna leave me!”
By this time the nearby Asian couples started to look in our direction, as I voices began to rise over the Bollywood music playing in the background.
“Boo it’s not like that, I can’t just stand back and let her get fucked up, you don’t understand he will kill her!”
“That’s not YOUR problem, I AM YOUR problem. I am YOUR woman, not her!” I was fuming, forgetting about the other people in the restaurant, as I slammed my stained napkin on the table.
“Don’t start saying your shit now please. I ain’t in the mood”
“Yeah, you’re never in the mood when it comes to supporting me, and being there for me. Thanks, thanks a lot” I stressed, anger clearly visible in my tone, when the waiter reluctantly handed us our bill with two small breath mints on the tray.

Now Shanny was some girl who he claimed he knew from five years ago. Truth was that he went to a weekender with his best mate and met her there. Danny was on her case first and she obviously didn’t like him, but that’s how she got close to Bobby. By speaking to him on a regular basis about the situation and how Danny was phoning her line everyday begging to take her out and buy her things. Bobby couldn’t see it, but I warned him that it was just a way for her to try and get close to him. Then they found out that they knew some of the same people, and that’s where it all started. I know her type, I knew from the first day that I saw her the type of girl that she was. She was a ‘hyped girl’ and was always around loads of drama. Bobby secretly loved this, he liked being around all the hype at times. I was too serene for him, I wasn’t someone who was always around drama. I was just peaceful, looking for someone to build a life with minus the female headache.

Bobby took out enough money on the table to pay for the bill, and leave a generous tip. He placed his hand on his head before taking a deep breath and leading the way out the restaurant door, thanking the weary staff on the way out. As we walked down the cobbled streets, I angrily strutted my heels making as much noise as I could, to emphasise my frustration. He didn’t even try to defuse the situation until we got to his car five minutes later.
He closed his door, which was shortly followed by my hard slam of the passenger door, sending an echo throughout the rest of the vehicle.
“Keish, I’m not going to be long, imma go sort this out and come straight back. You’re carrying on like I don’t come home to you every night”
I turned to face him. “That’s not the point Bobby. This always happens and that bitch knows what she is doing. Oh actually let me retract that coz she doesn’t even know that we are together again does she?” I questioned.
“Ohhh, Keish, stop chatting shit. How could she not know we are living together for Gods sake!”
“Yeah but its not like you told her, just like that other bitch. Why don’t you tell your so-called friends that you have a woman, and that you live with her? Huh Bobby! What is it that you have to lie all the time? Why can’t you tell them?”
“Ohhh your just chatting shit now, listen to yourself. All I’m going to do is sort this mess out and come straight home, to you!”
By this point it was evident that Bobby was going to do what he wanted to do regardless of how I was feeling or how much it would ruin our night. Truth was he loved females needing him, he loved the fact that the women love him, and tonight was going to be another night where I was going to be home alone, sitting in my lonely bed until about three, four o’clock in the morning when he would eventually come strolling in with some cocked up story. I knew this scenario all to well, and until he locked off all those women who he knows are trying to get him, our relationship would remain at this stagnant point.

After he dropped me back home I decided that I was not going to let this get me down. I pulled out a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the wine rack and played one of my old school slow jam CD’s before throwing myself down on the lonely sofa. I was fed up with this shit already. Nothing ever changes!
Here I am on a lively Friday night sitting on my own like a lonely miserable woman, but difference is I have a man! But where is he? With another woman! Yeah he says that he is sorting out her so called beef, which I must add she managed to get herself into, therefore she should get herself out of it or suffer the consequences. Then I thought about it for a while… why should I sit here horny thinking about my man gallivanting. I know exactly what to do to occupy my time….

The sound of a tired voice spoke down the phone “Hey, what you doing calling me so late?”
“Sorry, were you sleeping?” I whispered with a seductive tone.
“Oh hell nah, not really nah! Why what’s up?” I could hear him clearing the sleep from his voice.
“I just needed someone to talk to. How you been?”
“I’ve been okay, just missing you really. What you got on?”
Yes this is what I’m talking about, I didn’t even need to initiate anything, Clayton could read my mind and he knew exactly what this call was about! “Nothing much, just some little black French knickers and a tight little vest. “Why what you got on?”
“Damn I can just picture you now, with your long sexy legs and that firm ass of yours, and those big juicy nipples”
I could hear the desperation in his voice, he wanted me and he wanted me bad. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, especially with Clayton, but I needed to feel special tonight, I needed to feel like I was the only one that mattered, and Clayton knew how to execute this with precision, even over the phone.
Come on I’m not doing anything wrong, and in theory I’m not doing anything that Bobby hasn’t already done or hasn’t done of a similar nature. I needed to get mine and mine was on the other end of this telephone tonight, and if phone sex was the only way which I could achieve this, then phone sex it would have to be…

Chapter Five- Janet

I sat at my desk looking out at the riverfront watching the yuppie couples dining, drinking their lattés and cappuccinos. My work was so demanding these days, I hardly had time to sit and think at my desk without receiving a thousand and one calls.

I was a Human Resource Manager for a large Media company, and the office was always vibrant and busy. My desk was swamped with paperwork; I could just about locate my phone. I looked up at the picture that was sitting on my desk of Me, Leyah, Yasmin, Gregory and Marcus at our college prom. This picture always put a smile on my face and would warm up my coldest of days. The clothes we were all wearing were so embarrassing! Marcus had this slanted high top which was dyed blonde at the top. I remember he used to have all the latest haircuts before any of the other guys in college. Greg, was funny, the joker of the group always making people laugh. He was wearing this awful cream pinstripe suit, with a yellow satin shirt and his dark sunglasses! I saw him a few months ago, working as an engineer for B.T, he has four kids for three different women! I shook my head recalling his behaviour at college; I always knew he would be one of those men! The girls and I all looked hot as per usual. Sporting hairstyles, which we would never resort to now, but it was the lick back in those days. Yasmin, was wearing this skintight little black dress, don’t ask me where she was going in that. I remember the whole night she kept on pulling it down, all it did was ride up and entice the horny college boys. Wow, those were the days, how I miss those moments.
Looking at the picture made me remember seeing Marcus earlier, so I decided that I had got over the initial shock of seeing him and I was ready to spread the news that he was back in London. I located my office phone under all the paperwork and dialled the familiar number.

“Hey Keshia, you never guess who I saw today?”
“Who? No don’t tell me… Wintson?’ She laughed
“Oh hell nah! Not that dry head teefing bastard! I wish I did see him!… Nah I saw Marcus…”
“Ohhh girl. Where? Did he look good? Was he with a woman?” Keshia said eagerly
“Oh my gosh, did he look good! That is an understatement! You know he always looks sexy. But I couldn’t find it in myself to speak to him, I mean I was so shocked that I saw him, I thought he was still out of London. We talked a few months back and he didn’t mention that he would be coming back anytime soon. Well I haven’t spoken to him in ages but that’s not the point.”
“Look Jay, why didn’t you go and say hi, I don’t understand! Don’t tell me that the man still makes you weak, he must have been with a woman for you not to say anything to him”
“You don’t understand. I mean I froze I had an exhale moment, my breath stopped and I had to exhale from the bottom of my lungs. The man had me hypnotised just with his distant presence”
“Now look if a man can do that to you, why in the hell did you two not get it together after that night?” She said in a puzzled voice.
“It wasn’t that simple…come on now he was my bestfriend, he knew everything about me and...”
“And nothing! He wanted you and you definitely wanted him, and you just let him go. You let him slip from beneath your hands, damn I would have taken care of him for you” Keshia laughed
“I’m sure you would of! Listen I don’t know what to do. Should I call him or wait for him to call me? I mean I would like to catch up with him. Sit and talk about what he’s been up to”
“Yeah I’m sure you would, look what happened the last time you did that!”
“Nah, I’m not out for getting in his pants, I just want to see him and be able to have a friendship like how we used to. I’m over that night. I mean it was me who didn’t want to discuss it further afterwards. I just wanted it to disappear, to be a pleasurable memory that we both held. Imagine if we got together and it didn’t work out, then all our history together would have been ruined. It was for the best. I did what was right. Now we are still are friends and I love him dearly” I said trying to convince myself
“Look Jay, imma be straight with you. You lost a damn good man, well you let a damn good man go. He was perfect and he is one of the very few good men out there. I always knew that you would have that one passionate night, but I thought it would bring you together. You can’t let the past of your bad relationships haunt you forever. Get over them and take a chance for once in your life. Call him and ask him round for a drink… make sure that you are looking as fine as ever and just seduce him!”
“KESHIA!”
“No seduce him with your words! Damn I know he must still be feeling the effects of that night and you did basically kick him out afterwards! Shit the man must feel that he can’t even approach you face to face anymore!”
“Keshia, what are you saying? You think I should call him?”
“Hell yeah! You better call him and apologise for your behaviour that night! Okay I’m chatting rubbish now. But call him and tell him that you were thinking about him and wanted to see how he was doing. Don’t tell him that you saw him. Let him tell you that he is back in London.”
“Yeah, your right. I’m not gonna say I saw his fine, sexy ass. I’m just gonna call him like I was thinking bout him. I miss him, we was so close back in the day”
“I know, that’s why you have to do this. Come on you know him better than he knows his self almost”
“Yeah your right. Okay gotta go. Imma call him now before I explode!”
“Good. Tell him I said hi.”
I put down the phone and thought about how I was gonna approach it, as I recited it in my mind the phone began to ring….
“Keshia imma do it now….”
“Hey” Said a deep sexy voice down the line.
“Hello? Keshia?” I said puzzled
“Nah babes this isn’t Keshia. It’s me…. Marcus”
Oh my gosh, my heart skipped a beat and I froze for a quick minute. “Marcus, oh my gosh babes. Long time no hear. I thought you forgot about me!” I stuttered
“Hell nah. I could never forget about you Jay. You’re my girl for life!”
I laughed, he was still the same. Still presented with the same humour, like we had never been separated for so long. The way which he said I was his girl made me lose focus for a while.
“How have you been? I missed you girl!” He confessed sounding all sexy.
“I’ve been okay. Just working and getting on with things, you know how it is. Bought a new house...”
“Yeah I heard, good on you girl. You know I’m back in London now…”
“Really! How comes? You back for good or passing through?”
“Well…I’m back here for good, you know. Luton is dead! I love London and I missed my girl Janet” Marcus said cheekily. “Jay, look here. I haven’t seen you in over three years. Damn what you look like now girl? You still as fine as I remember?… I’m just playing with you!.”
“I know Marcus, you always make me smile, and I miss that about you. I miss the way we used to talk back in the day”
“I know Jay, so do I” I could hear the sincerity in his tone. “You know you are so special to me, and you will always be. Look we need to meet up, let’s go out for a drink. What you doing tonight?”
“Tonight? Errm... well…”
“That’s good nothing. Lets meet up at Embargos at nine, and I will not take no for an answer” Marcus demanded
“Marcus, you can’t just demand that I meet you tonight, with no warning! I might have plans!”
“Jay please! Come on just meet me, we haven’t seen each other for years, now you gonna try sit there and make up an excuse for not meeting me, when you well and truly know you have nothing else to do tonight, so stop pussyfooting and meet me at nine!”
Damn, I loved it when he was so firm and authoritive, I could feel my insides warming up just picturing his expressions on his face as he spoke.
“Okay, Okay. I will meet you. But I’m only having one drink, I have work in the morning”
“Babes, one drink is not enough, but I respect that you have to work in the morning, while I will be resting in my bed, nursing my hangover” He sniggered “But what if I promise that you will have two drinks and I will ensure that you make it to work on time and sober tomorrow. Nine o’clock sharp!”
Marcus had a way with his words and I loved the way he spoke to me, I just had to oblige his offer.
“You are trouble. I haven’t seen you in years and you haven’t changed one bit Mr Walters!” I smiled “I will be there”
“Right then, word is bond. I will see you there Ms Lloyd… and hey don’t keep me waiting”

That was it! Oh my gosh, I had a date with Marcus later that same evening. What was I going to do, how would I handle seeing him again after so long. Damn I need to leave work early and sort myself out. Wait why should I? He knows what I look like first thing in the morning, we have spent many nights sleeping in the same bed after a long night of raving. But I can’t let him see me looking a wreck, not that I look one at the moment but I need to look presentable. Right that’s decided I need to hit Westend and pick up something new for tonight. Damn, what do I even want to come of tonight?

Chapter Four- Marcus

I stretched out my arms, frustrated at the outcome of today’s trials. My mind was not focused at all. There was only one thing that was directly occupying my thoughts. I needed to phone Janet. I can’t let someone else tell her that I am back.
Damn I haven’t seen her since she kicked me out of her hotel room five years ago. I closed my eyes and reminisced on the tender moment we shared. I do miss her, and we have talked but it hasn’t been the same. The friendship changed, we haven’t even spoken a word of that night, and it was amazing, I mean I was better than I imagined it to be. She felt so smooth and tasted so good. I just don’t know what I did wrong, I mean it was not like I was the only one who wanted it to go further that night. Maybe she feels like she made a huge mistake! Every time I try to mention it she just cuts me off! Damn that woman sure knows how to run cold on a brother!
How do I tell her? I don’t even know how she will feel, I don’t even know where to start! The last time we spoke I know I should have told her, but I just couldn’t get the words out. It’s not like we have anything romantic or had anything romantic going on. It was just that one night, and I haven’t forgotten it ever since, yeah it was special but she has made it clear that she does not want to discuss what happened, and so I can only oblige her request.
How do I even tell her just in case she reacts irrational? I do not want to keep this from her any longer and I know she is going to be angry at me for it already!
I'm going to call her tonight, maybe I’ll go round and visit her, take her out for a drink…

Chapter Three- Leyah

‘Knock, knock, knock… baby...’ The sounds of Joe blasted from my stereo as my cousin Rachel relaxed in the living room, listening to some old CD’s, whilst I got Asia ready for her father to come and collect her. The weekend was my time for freedom, not that I did anything in particular with it, but I was a time for me to chill.
“You got some good tunes here Leyah!”
“I know, I love my music, it gets me through. It makes me think back to when we were younger and all the house parties we used to attend. Now those were the good old days, when you could just go out and have fun!” I smiled, reminiscing as Rachel went through my album collection on my computer. “Asia! Come here and finish your dinner, you father is coming for you shortly”
Asia is my baby girl, I love her to bits. Her father on the other hand was a waste of space! We had Asia during a relationship we had four years ago. He charmed me, whined and dined me and then got me pregnant and that’s when I found out that he had a woman or to be precise a fiancée. I was hurt, and I was also four months pregnant when I eventually figured it out. Some people say to me, how did I not work that one out, but it was not simple. He had hidden it well. I mean we were together mainly everyday, if I did not see him I guarantee that I spoke to him. He knew exactly how to play the game and have me eating out of his hands. He told me all the right things and took me to all the beautiful places. We even went to Barbados together, which I later found out he had lied to his woman and told her some story about going to research the property market over there as a surprise for his mother. Man I must have really been a fool for true!
The only good thing about him is that he takes responsibility for his daughter. His relationship with his fiancée is still prevailing; she is actually a bigger fool than me! But I suppose whatever makes you happy, and he MUST be making her happy or giving it to her damn good for her to stay through his lies and scandals. Come on Asia is almost three, and Reese is a charmer, he has sex appeal oozing out of his body. I’m over him now, but I do understand what that stupid Shantel is going trough. It’s because I know what it is like, I know exactly what he has to offer, and YES it is all that and then some! I mean this man knows how to work every part of his body and then make every part of your body scream with desire, while making it look effortless.
He doesn’t really love Shantel, he couldn’t, he loves himself more. For him to treat her the way he has and then still continue the same behaviour he surely has no form of respect or remorse. The only reason he is still with her is because I kicked his ass to the kerb after I found out that he was engaged and had been the whole time throughout our one-year relationship, plus her parents own a number of estate agents and he needs the enhanced recognition.
Would I have stayed with him if he weren’t engaged? I’m not really sure how to answer that….maybe, or on the other hand maybe not. But I had always said from young that I wanted to have kids with one man and that would be the person who I would spend my whole life with. I grew up without my father in my life and I did not want that for my children. But life then dishes you out its own hand and your fate is at the mercy of silly mistakes and chances. Not to say that my Asia was a mistake, but it could have been planned a lot better, first being that Reese wasn’t the father and we had never met.
Just then my doorbell rang. I looked at the clock on the kitchen wall sceptically.
“Damnit, he’s here early” I announced as I rushed out of the kitchen to open the door.
“Look I will be back about eight let me go and buy some blank disks and come back” Rachel announced as I made my way past the front room to open the door. I knew Rachel was just trying to avoid Reese, she could not stand him. None of my family or friends could, but Rachel could not hide her repugnance towards him, so she avoided him as much as possible, because she was known to be very opinionated, she couldn’t hold her tongue!
“Alright then Rache” I opened the door and greeted Reese while Rachel kissed Asia goodbye and then forced a hi and bye to Reese as she brushed pass him at the door and into the sunset street.
He stood at my door, with the automatic safety light exposing his presence for all to see as he leaned causally on the wall.
“Hi, sorry I’m a bit early, it’s just that I left work early and decided to come straight down”
I rolled my eyes. “Look it’s fine, your only half an hour early, she’s not quite ready yet, just finishing her dinner”
“Daddy” Asia bellowed from the kitchen having heard her dad’s voice.
“Where’s daddies little princess?” He smiled as he passed through the front door and towards the kitchen which was opposite and in clear view of Asia sitting at the table on her pink princess booster seat.
Now I didn’t really let Reese into my house, because there was no need for him to come inside, but he took it upon himself to enter. Maybe this was the real reason why he had come early. To come and snoop to check that no man was living here. I know his tricks and I know the way he thinks, he had expressed many a times that he did not want no next man around his baby. Like I am supposed to remain a nun for the rest of my life. He must be mad!
He finished placing a tender kiss on her forehead before giving her instructions. “Princess, finish your dinner. Then you can come and have some fun at daddies, and I’ve got a little surprise for you if you eat all your dinner”
Asia rushed to eat her food, taking big gulps with her plastic children’s cutlery, anticipating her surprise. Reese turned and looked at me suspiciously, causing the temperature to dramatically drop.
“What’s wrong with you now? I like how you just invited yourself into my house, and don’t start your foolishness” I said to him sternly, turning my back to walk into the living room.
“What are you on about now woman? I am just looking at you, you look different, you look like your blossoming…there seems to be radiance about you today”
I kissed my teeth “Please Reese! What do you want? Those tricks certainly do not work with me anymore”
He smiled, following close behind me, loving the fact that he had been sussed “I came early because I just wanted to have a word with you”
“About what?”
“Well, we have to try and be civilised for Asia’s sake and…it’s not good for her not to see us interacting together positively” Reese said in his dictator tone
“What is your point? I am always civilised towards you despite the way which you treated me by lying and deceiving me, forgetting to mention that you had a FIANCEE” I bickered at him
“Leah, Leah, I know I hurt you and I am truly sorry for what I did, it’s just that I grew to love you so much that I couldn’t bear to lose you. You became a huge part of my life and you was like….”
“Stop bullshitting me Reese, it doesn’t make one bit of difference now. All that matters is that we are both happy and Asia is not neglected because of your stupidity!”
“Leah Leah I know but…”
He always used to call me Leah Leah when we were together, the way he said it used to make me feel all warm inside and he knew it, that’s why he was calling me it now, trying to make me succumb to whatever point he was trying to put across. “Look I don’t know what it is that you are hoping to achieve here…” I tried to finish my words but he cut in before I could.
“Leyah, listen. I just want to say that I think we should act more like a family for Asia’s sake! I mean try and give her some memories of the three of us together, just in case something happens in the future, at least she will have pictures and memories of us all together.” He blurted out as he invited himself to take a seat on my leather sofas.
“Well I am sure you have ruined any chances of us being a FAMILY, and it will all just be lies because you have made it this way” I scorned at him, the heat beginning to rise within me as the anger took hold of me once again.
“Come on Leah Leah, we have to try for our daughters sake, I mean lets just try and do things together for her.”
I could not believe what this fool was coming out with, how dare he try and act like the mature parent here. He was the reason why our daughter has to live in a single parent home and spend weekends at her fathers. Why should I be made to look like I was the one that was stopping things from progressing, from her being happy! Damn he irritates me!
“Look, I hear what you are saying, and I agree that we need to do something together for Asia, but I am not going to lie to YOUR WOMAN sorry FIANCEE about anything” I shouted. He ignored my anger and continued with his point.
“I’m not asking you to. Asia is my daughter and you are her mother she understands that, and she also understands that I would do anything for my baby girl. So that is not a problem. Look I have tickets to go to the aquarium Sunday, it would be nice if you could come”
Reese put me on the spot, and I could see the persistence in his eyes. I lowed my head confused. He knew he had backed me into a corner and I could not retreat without saying yes.
I brushed off my dress. “Wow, you had it all planned out then, didn’t you?”
“Not exactly, I was going to take her with Mum, but her arthritis is playing up again. So I thought it would be a good opportunity for us to make a go… you know… and do something together”
As I was about to give him another piece of my mind, with my arms folded and ready for the attack Asia came running into the front room right into her father’s loving arms.
“Princess Mummy is coming with us to the aquarium” Reese slyly said, avoiding any eye contact with me. Knowing that Asia would be excited at the prospect of me coming with them.
“Yeah, mummy, mummy, see the fishies?” She said jumping up and down on her dads lap excited.
“Yes darling, mummy is going to come and see the fishes with you” I said sarcastically “Now go and get your shoes and coat on”
“Okay” She said as she jumped off her dads lap and ran upstairs to get her coat.
Clap, Clap! “You are so conniving, you really haven’t changed! You knew that I couldn’t say no in front of my baby” I snapped at him.
“I know! Well I didn’t plan to tell her like that; just she came in at the right moment. Don’t worry about it, it will be fun. I won’t try and feed you to the sharks if that’s what you’re worried about” He humoured “I just want Asia to have fun memories with us”
Somehow what he said seemed genuine, although I knew he must have an ultimate plan under that scheming head of his, I will just go along for Asia’s sake. And as he said it might even be fun.
“Look, I’m coming but don’t be sneaking around, tell Shantel exactly who you are going with!”
“Listen I will! I am done with all the lying and hiding. She will know and I will be the one to tell her. Okay?”
I nodded my head in agreement
“Well then I will come and pick you up on Sunday for eleven o’clock, is that okay?”
“Yeah, I will make sure I am ready. And don’t think that this is for your benefit, I still dislike you and you are still the number one bastard in my life, this is not about us!” I had to ensure that Reese full and well knew that I was only doing it for Asia and not holding on to the small hope that it would bring us back together. I knew that he always had it in the back of his mind that one day I would beg him back, but I have gained some inner strength over the past couple years, especially seeing him and Shantel still together after everything he done. It has also made me a lot stronger and icier towards men, I am no longer a doormat for them, which is a huge change.
Asia came running down the stairs with her favourite coat that her dad bought her and her pink kickers, ready to leave. Reese didn’t need to take any clothes for Asia; she had her own room at his house with everything she needed, it was like her second home. He had managed to buy a huge four-bedroom house in Shirley, courtesy of his success in property development. He had managed to buy the type of house he had always wanted and had impressively made numerous investments to maintain his empire.
“Well Leyah I will see you on Sunday. Asia give your mummy a big hug and kiss from the both of us” He said while he let out a cheeky devious smile. I kissed my teeth at him, showing my disapproval.
I waved them good-bye as he drove off in his brand new black Range Rover Sports Jeep, the engine roaring down my quiet street. As soon as I closed the door, I went straight into the living room and sat down for a while. I needed to fully digest the arrangements that I had just made with Reese. I mean this man had caused so many problems within my life and now I have to try and play happy families with him, and it was not even my idea! Wait until I tell the girls about this, I’m not even sure if I should go. What if he fails to tell Shantel and I go through another experience like the last time when he came to the parents evening without letting her know. Now that was drama, she phoned me up cussing and swearing down the phone, accusing me of using Asia as a way to get back with him and at one point she even accused me of having an affair with him. As if I would do that again!

Chapter Two- Keshia

How do I get myself in these situations? Is it my fault or is it Bobby’s? Nah, it’s defiantly not mine, if he would only pay attention to what he is supposed to then we wouldn’t be in this situation now.
“So Keshia, when are you going to give me the pleasure of you company again, so I can take you out for dinner?”
“Look Clayton, I’m really busy this week, but I can try come over quickly tomorrow evening” I replied, starring at my sealing, casually holding the phone to my ear, whilst watching my pre-recorded dose of America’s Top Model.
“You’re always passing through! You never actually spend ‘TIME’ with me. I want to hold you, I want to feel your warm lips against mine again, I can’t remember what you feel like, it’s been so long baby!”
“Babes, I’m trying but I’ve just been too busy, it’s not easy being me! Look I have to prioritise my time, and besides it wasn’t that long ago! I’m sure you can remember.”
“That’s what you think! I need to sample the goods again” He blurted sounding frustrated.
“Clayton, just wait a little longer!” I rolled my eyes. Truth was I didn’t really want to give him anymore! Yeah we had two passionate nights together, but that was all it was. I was in need for some attention and special feelings those nights, and yes Clayton was at the right place at the right time. It was nice, but not worth doing it again, I mean I had to juggle him around with Bobby, who was trying extra hard lately to make things right again. Especially after that bitch Naomi had tried to seduce him into her bed. I never really knew what actually did happen, but it made me seek elsewhere for what I was missing and Clayton was only happy to oblige. But now I didn’t know how to let him go, it would break his heart. It’s my own fault I was too affectionate with him, I couldn’t help it, it was nothing personal just how I do things. Now he wanted to take me out more and I always had to find a new excuse. I mean he never knew about Bobby, because he never asked, and then we never spoke about forming a relationship either. So it’s his fault that he let his feelings get caught up in our fling.
Now Bobby was sweet, sexy and a charmer. We had been dating for two years on and off, and we had been through our fair share of madness, the girls trying to split us up, the malicious rumours, and the family members, which wanted to keep us apart. But we got through it, sort of! Now here we were trying to make things work again!
He was moving back into my flat this week, and we promised to try and make things work this time. He promised to be more dedicated to the relationship and commit everything he had to make it work. Yes I believed him, why not. I loved him and he loved me, and love conquers all doesn’t it?

“Hey baby, I’m going to bring the rest of my stuff on Thursday, so we can go out Friday night. I won’t be down until late tonight though, coz I’m going out with the boys. Before you start it’s Miles’ birthday, so were just going out for a drink”
“But babes, we haven’t spent any time together at all this week, and you promised you would”
“Yeah, I will be down later tonight” Bobby stated, trying to convince me.
I took a deep breath. “When I’m sleeping!” I moaned pulling the blanket over my bare legs after feeling the slight draft which christened my room.
“Baby, don’t be like that! I won’t go if you don’t want me to”
“Nah, you go babes, I don’t want them to think I’m not letting you out like last time! You know how they talk rubbish. Go and enjoy yourself”
Now I knew that his ‘boys’ encouraged him to chat up other women, especially his best mate Danny, because he could definitely not attract them on his own! Now Danny he was such an arse. He hated on my relationship with Bobby from day one, and that was only because he could not get me himself.
When I met Bobby at a garden party in Hammersmith five years ago, he was with that fool Danny. He had tried to proposition me with his best useless lyrics, but I politely turned him down, much to his disapproval. As soon as I was able to slip away from him, my eye caught a hold of this sexy 5’9, brown skin, firm bodied honey across the smoke filled room. He had the body of a model, actually no a chocolate Adonis. I will never forget that moment; he was wearing dark blue denim jeans and a white shirt with his crucifix chain hanging down his muscular chest. I’m telling you I was on him like a bee to honey. That night I was looking sexy dressed in my black ¾ length skirt which hugged my wide but sexy hips, a black and red corset top which flattered my small breast and made them look a size bigger. My hair flowing straight above my shoulders with copper highlights complementing my complexion. Amazingly I was the one who went over to him and introduced myself. I just needed to say something and somehow the courage leapt out of me like a trapped tiger, as my feet carried me over to him with uncertainty.
I was thankful that he didn’t reject me, he was actually happy that I had come over, as he whispered in my ear through the loud music that he had been watching me all night. I was flattered. We conversed outside in the early hours of the humid morning for about an hour while everyone else was dancing away to the classic sounds. I found him so mentally stimulating, it turned out that he was an actor and had been in many huge plays across England. In turn I informed him of my recent funding events for underprivileged youths. A few minutes into the conversation and had realised that we had so many things in common. From that day on we developed a relationship, which was plagued with hurt and insecurities from past relationships. Being together was a challenge for both of us, one which we were willing to face, but knew that would be hard.

Bobby was a good man deep down, but he was overpowered by the pain Hazel had done to him earlier. Now she was a right bitch, she had tried to trap him with a pregnancy but then later confessed that she had slept with one of his friends. That news had broken him down, however it didn’t stop her. She had tried to convince him that it was his, but he didn’t believe her. He knew that she wasn’t sure who the father was, but wanted it to be his because the other guy wasn’t interested in being a father. Her pleas were worthless, and she ended up having a termination. After that experience he couldn’t find it within himself to trust a woman again. He always claimed that it burned so much because he never cheated on her, and then it made it worst, that she had been with someone he knew. So honestly I didn’t really blame him for his feelings and reluctance to commit to our relationship. Janet said that I was mad to put up with some of the things he did, but I just understood his situation and knew that he needed support and assurance to trust me, and then we could move our relationship to the next level. My past was also haunting me but hey you have to try and move on and get over it.

Moving in together was a big step, although he had practically lived with me when we were together eight months ago it was not official, and it caused more problems than good. But that was only because Bobby was not ready to fully commit at the time, still wanting to walk the streets like he was a bachelor. He couldn’t cope with me asking him, what time he would be home, what he wanted for dinner, telling him that It was his turn to wash up, reminding him to tidy up after himself and constantly telling him to put the toilet seat down. Looking back at it now, what was actually going to be different this time? He would still have his bad habits! Only I would have to put up with it, welcome it, get used to the fact that this was how it was going to be!
Before he decided to move in with me, Bobby was flat sharing in Walthamstow with two other guys in this dingy small detached house. He was not used to his own space, but was accustom to an environment full of testosterone, blossoming in the unwelcoming smell of dirty dishes in the sink, and neglected months of cleaning. I tell you something for sure; I am not going to miss that two hour drive down there, no more suffering nights in the prescience of a male occupancy.

I looked around my surroundings, examining my comfortable space. My flat was only a one bedroom, but it was big enough for the both of us. I’d been living here for three years now, and I had made it into my own. Having to share it was a bit daunting for me. I was organised and Bobby had a lot of stuff despite him basically living in one room at his place, he had accumulated enough stuff as someone who had a three bedroom house! He had already moved in half of his belongings during the past week, which I had been weaving through in order not to break my neck. There were musty smelling books stacked in boxes in the corridor, his keyboard and other musical instruments lying all around the flat and even pictures of him and famous actors, which he was adamant he was going to hang up around the flat on my flawless walls, somehow I did not think so!, I thought walking around in my pink slippers. I laughed remembering that it had led to numerous discussions about where he was going to put a lot of his ‘junk’!

Frustrated with seeing the scattered cardboard boxes around the flat, I decided to hang up his clothes and neatly stack his shoes and trainers; which were all still in their boxes, nicely in the built-in wardrobe, where tons of my own shoes were stacked. I was all hot and sticky when I had finished. Living with Bobby was going to be a big step, but it would be nice to come home knowing that my boyfriend would be there or would be coming home soon. Having to cook everyday, instead of rushing for a quick bite to eat before sitting bored in front of the television, constantly flicking channels trying to find something interesting to watch. Only problem was, now I would have to ensure that I constantly looked presentable, not looking all frumpy and unkempt, which I normally transformed into come evening. It meant that I wouldn’t be able to come home, take out my contact lenses and resort to wearing my half crooked pair of D&G glasses and relax in my over-worn house t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms. No, no, I can’t do any of that just yet, how he met me is how I’ve got to stay! Me letting my self-go now that we have moved in together is a recipe for disaster. It could easily turn him off, and send him into the arms of another woman, and I know there would always be a dozen who are willing to take him up. Its not that he hasn’t ever seen me first thing in the morning, with my headscarf around my head, and no make-up or something like that. But I just didn’t want anything to go wrong again. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted him to remain attracted to me, keep the relationship alive. Not that we had a boring sex life, our sex life was very exciting when he was actually here! But I didn’t want the flame to burn out!
In a way it felt like an invasion of my space, but on the other hand it was like I embraced the warm feeling it gave me. I was sharing my world, with someone I loved. I was replacing my lonely days, with joy and excitement. I was building my life with another, changing for the better. Making my home, ‘our’ home

Chapter One- Janet

It happened again! Oh my gosh what was wrong with me? How does some one have that power over you, without even being close to you! Especially when you haven’t seen them in the past three years! He looked so delicious walking towards the entrance of Selfridges department store, dressed in a black pinstripe suit with a pink shirt, complimented with a black tie, and black Paul Smith loafers. His leather man bag by his side. Strutting his sexy body delicately to the rhythm of the summer wind. My heart pounded in my chest at the sight of him and the brief moment we had shared five years ago came flooding back to me….

We had known each other for two years whilst at college, and had formed this close friendship from the start, which made us the best of friends. Every moment after lectures we were together; in the social room, watching our college team play basketball or just chilling in the greesy cafeteria. Our daily routine always started with each other, waiting for the same morning train and consistently being at each others houses. His house practically became my second home, his mother, my mother! Then suddenly it all came to halt after our stretch at college ended. Marcus made the decision to attend Brunel University to study Law and I had gone to Coventry. It was devastating at first, because he was like my right arm, we would talk on the phone every night, talking about every and anything. But being at university we had to get used to the distance and the substitution of talking on the phone, instead of the freedom of popping round one another’s house when needed.
Uni life changed us, and eventually the calls withered away. It soon became a bonus to speak to him once every few months. I didn’t hold it against him, because I knew the pressures we were both under and the expectations we had to fulfil. But then that night finally came when we could not contain our feelings anymore. The passion took over and our lust got the better of us!

We had met up at a charity dinner for the Black and Aware foundation, which was a huge business event for Ethnic minority business owners and inspiring entrepreneurs. The annual event was held in the Britannia Hotel, near Manchester City Centre, it was a beautiful hotel, definitely fit for purpose.
I was sitting with some friends, which I had known from work and previous networking events, discussing recent political events, drinking champagne, and adoring the music which the DJ was playing. We sat and watched the couples and groups of people in the middle of the dance floor, admiring them move their bodies in time with the music. There was this one couple, who must have been in their late fifties, really having a go on the floor, showing the younger couples how to move to the jazz music precisely. The atmosphere was so calming; it was nice to see so many successful and inspiring black people and happy couples of all ages, socialising together, enjoying the music and splendour of the venue.
My eyes were lit with delight as I looked across the room, eagerly scanning the rest of the guest, admiring the way which they were all dressed up in ballroom gowns and the men looking all refined in their tuxedos exploiting different colours, and varieties of accessories. My heart sank, as a realised I was subconsciously looking for one body in particular. No longer being discrete I turned my body to the left, trying to look in-between the masses of silhouettes dancing on the dance floor. Then suddenly through the array of colours from the gowns in the large banqueting hall I felt a pair of eyes looking in my direction.
He had noticed me first, and was watching me attentively. As our eyes locked he smiled and proceeded to rise up from the table he was sitting at with four other people. He walked across the hall cruising over towards me slowly, trying not to look eager, but his expressions told me otherwise. I knew he was happy to see me. I could tell by the way his mouth was formed, desperately trying to contain his excitement. We had not seen each other for ages. I admired him walking towards me wearing a perfectly fitted black tuxedo with a silk gold cummerbund, as his round cufflinks reflected at me with every strode he took.
I took a deep breath as he finally reached my table, frantically rubbing my sweaty palms on the tablecloth I rose to meet him as he leaned forward and gave me a big tight embrace, the kind of hug where your body melts and you don’t want to let go, you lose all perception of your surroundings and fall into a fairytale! At that moment I realised that I missed him so much. Slowly he released me from his incredibly tight grip, smiling we sat down and caught up on the latest developments in each others lives, taking it in turns to lead the conversation, disclosing enough information about our recent experiences for us to enquire more at a later stage.
After talking for about an hour, with numerous interruptions Marcus suggested that it was time we got up and enjoyed the music, instead of warming the seats. It was ceratinly true; I had not paid an arm and a leg for my immaculate hair and two hundred and fifty pounds to sit down in my silver low-cut ball gown. Standing up, pleased at his suggestion I took Marcus up on his offer, and I am glad that I did.
We danced so close that we merged like two butterflies dancing in the summer breeze; our bodies pulsating with sweat. No matter what song played, we danced. We danced until our feet hurt, it was like we were afraid to let each other out of our grip, as though we would fall into an abyss and never feel each other again.
The best thing about the night was that we both had reservations at the hotel, meaning that we could dance until the end.
The older crowd had begun to disperse, some resigning to their seats, and a few had retired to their rooms. It was mainly the young couples remaining on the dance floor, enjoying the moments, surrounded by the warm glow of the dimmed lights, and astounding white décor, which made you feel like a princess. It was perfect.
I closed my eyes and fully inhaled the way which Marcus’s body moved, it was so sensual, I could feel his every muscle against the most sensitive parts of my slim structure. He was so seductive without even knowing it. Damn, we were two young professionals here for a business event, and here I was feeling like we were the only two people in the room. I pondered on the thought of him feeling the same way I was. But why would he? We had been best friends back in college and we hadn’t seen each other in three years, why would he feel the way my body was reacting to him now? Maybe it’s the several glasses of champagne talking, or maybe it is my inner-self coming out! Whatever it was it was driving me crazy!
“You feel so soft” Marcus whispered into my ear while he ran his soft hands against my back.
“I can’t believe the turn out, it is nice to be here” What was I mumbling! I wanted to tell him that he was making my body hot all over and was causing fluctuations between my legs.
“Yeah. It is a nice venue, and they actually hired a decent DJ. Janet are you ok? Beacuse you seem a bit distracted?”
“I’m fine Marcus, honestly. I just haven’t drank like this for ages or even danced like this for a long, long time”
“Yeah, not since that time you had a date with that producer guy!” He slyly laughed
Yeah he knew everything about my past relationships or brief encounters, he was practically my diary throughout college. In a way it was a good thing. There was nothing to hide; we already knew everything we had both done. We knew each other inside out. I pushed him playfully away “Trust you to remember that Marcus!”
“Oh I don’t forget anything babe… You know, you look really beautiful tonight”
“Thanks, so do you. I must admit you scrubbed up well!” I joked. Finally he had noticed. I had especially searched for this gown for weeks, making sure that it hugged in all the right places, strictly because I knew Marcus would be here alone. We had spoke about coming here last month during one of our irregular brief conversations, and he had informed me that he normally would bring one of his ‘admirers’ but he wanted to catch up and spend time with me, rather than accommodate some woman tonight, who was trying to win over his affection with the hope of securing the key to exclusivity.
After the song At your best by Aaliyah had stopped playing, the DJ changed the genre and put on some revival.
“Hey, you ready to leave; you look like you are going to fall over”
“Yeah, I take it your tired as well! It’s almost three o’clock and my feet are starting to burn me”
“Exactly, let’s just slip away” He whispered holding me by the waist like a delicate flower. That was fine with me.

We slipped out the banquet hall and past a young dark skinned man in a grey tuxedo, talking to one of the daughters of the organisers. Holding on to the intention of trying to get a telephone number or the number of her hotel room she was staying in. Marcus and I laughed as we walked up the stairwell towards the elevator, remembering the days when that would have been him. The doors to the lift opened and we staggered inside, pressing the button for the third floor. Wall to floor mirrors surrounded the inside of the elevator, and I caught the gaze of my reflection. Damn, my eyes looked tired, but more importantly I never noticed how perfect Marcus was even from behind. The length of his back was astonishing; it complemented his long neck and wide manly shoulders. The tux, was definitely a good look on him! I exhaled.
The elevator doors opened as we reached the third floor, stepping out I lead the way. We had to walk through the long corridor, passing numerous pieces of antique oak furniture and various original art pictures by artists which I had never heard of. I stopped at my door, room 345. Oh my gosh I really needed to take off these heels. I could hardly stand up.
“Jay, where’s your key?”
I reached into my purse and took out the key card. Fumbling with the security door for the green light to come on, I was becoming impatient. Eventually after three attempts it finally opened. A relieved Marcus held it open, while I entered.
My hotel room was small but had a warm cozy atmosphere. There was a double bed in the middle of the room, the side table with the TV above, and all the commodities surrounding. The un-suite bathroom was to the front of the room near the door. Luckily I had left some scented candles burning in the room as it helps me to relax, and I must admit it also helped to set the mood…
“Right, let me make you some coffee, you don’t want to have a pulsating headache in the morning, you know what your like”
Oh, I loved the way he took charge. My mind suddenly pondered of what he was like in-between the sheets. I could just imagine, by the way he moved his mocha chocolate extra toned body, I would expect him to have mad skills, especially as all the women he had been with did not want to let him go so easily.
Marcus stood across the bed, beside the dresser where the small kettle and complimentary refreshments were situated, waiting for the kettle to boil.
As soon as it did, he poured the water into the two mugs and turned to sit down beside me. He grinned as he handed me my coffee, and sat sipping his drink.
I was feeling so horny right now; Marcus’s body had done things to me during that dance that I haven’t felt for over a year. The way he had held me told me that I was having the same effect on him. But hey, where friends and that’s how it would remain.
“Jay, you know something?” He looked delicious as he sat and turned towards me to talk, focus!
“What’s up?”
“I’m glad that…. you had a nice time tonight. I haven’t seen you for so long, and you still look the same. You know, all that work you been doing lately. You haven’t had time to relax and enjoy yourself”
“I know, it’s been hectic recently...” Before I could finish my sentence he cut in
“You look really beautiful tonight. I enjoyed dancing with you. We haven’t really danced together like ‘that’ before. I mean it was nice”
“Marcus, you dance like that ‘all’ the time with your girlfriends”
“Hey, don’t hate! But nah, it was never like ‘that’…your body…” He took his cue and lent closer, touching my chin, then he slowly pressed his smooth lips against mine. Ohhh, he felt so good. I had to respond the only way I knew how to, the way my body wanted me to, I was melting with pure desire. I grabbed him closer as our tongues danced together. I could feel his warm soft hands gliding up my back. The sensation made me grip the back of his neck forcing him even closer. He guided me gently down onto my back as I gazed into his soul watching the passion racing in his dreamy light brown eyes. Right then I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him!
He took his hands and slowly slid my dress up, kissing and stroking my thighs until he reached the middle. He entered so carefully with his tongue, exploring places, which I had forgot existed. My body tingled as he caressed my erogenous zones, my body responding like it had never been touched before! I was wet all over. I could not fight the feeling any longer and my body gave in.
After my body exploded, he continued to kiss his way further up and he then completely removed my dress. I wanted him now; I wanted to feel him inside of me, deep inside of me. Marcus continued with what he had started, tasting and kissing me all over my body, slowly but passionately. I held his back so tight; I could feel his blood racing.
“Take me” I whispered into his ear.
Marcus reached inside his trouser pocket and took out a condom from his wallet, and slowly took off the rest of his clothes, seducing me with his every movement. My breath sped up anticipating his silhouette, waiting for him to be ready for me. Once he had it on, I could see the full size of his manhood! Wow, what an impressive package it was. He climbed on top of me slowly, damn I was going to explode again, and he hasn’t even put it inside of me yet. I can’t believe I am feeling like this. Finally he entered deep inside my love nest, our bodies intertwined like two locks of hair. Damn he felt so good. “ooooohh”, he slides deeper and deeper. Sweat was dripping down our bodies but neither one of us was ready to climax, we were both trying to hold back the intense feeling of releasing the passion which we had been holding inside for a lifetime, It feels too good to stop. I move in and kiss his small but erected nipples, as he moans out with pleasure. His hands caressed my body as if I was a smooth lace of the finest silk. We continued to make love between the sheets, it was so perfect, it felt so right, in the heat of the moment we sweated, changed positions, holding each other firmly. “Oohh Marcus” I whispered.
“Ahhhhh Janet, you feel so right”
We exchanged kisses on each others neck; he held my firm breast, whilst I got lost in ecstasy. I grabbed his defined buttocks and commanded him to thrust deeper, “right there marrrrc” I couldn’t get the rest of the word out. It was a feeling I had yearned for, and craved for what seemed an eternity. The passion continued until I was no longer in control of my sexual emotions. I began to tremble, I moaned out loudly and held him tighter, sinking my nails into his back. I knew he could feel my emotions releasing. The feeling of complete and total euphoria was overpowering. I don’t know how, but Marcus sensed what my body was going through. At the same time I felt him shudder, “oooohhh” he growled, grasping my hands, squeezing tightly, we climaxed together.
We lay on the ruffled bedding in silence for the next twenty minutes waiting to catch our breath, and come back to our senses. He continued to be affectionate by softly playing with my hair, and stroking my arms until reality struck me…I suddenly rose up untangling our locked bodies.
“Don’t say a word!”
“But Jay…”
“Look, I’m sorry, the drink got the better of me. I didn’t mean to…”
“Jay, I enjoyed every moment of it. Don’t apologise”
“But Marcus, we shouldn’t of.”
“But we did! You wanted it and I know I sure wanted it… what are you saying?”
“I'm saying… we shouldn’t have done this” He looked on at me, confused.
“Do you want me to go?”
I sighed “Yeah, I think I think it’s best”
What was wrong with me! Marcus eased his body out of the bed and searched for his clothes, which were lying all over the room. Once he found them he quickly put them on, composed himself, and walked towards the door. He paused for a brief moment, like he was trying to find something appropriate to say, but he decided against it and continued to open the door before walking out closing it behind him. Without looking back, he was gone.
Why did I let him walk out of the door? Truth was I enjoyed it all too, I longed to hold him that close and feel him inside of me like that for years, and now the moment had finally arrived and I practically kicked him out. Why did I do that?
I was scared, I didn’t want to spoil the friendship we had recently rekindled, and I could not handle the aftermath, or the possibility that we will never be the same again.

Now here he was walking across Oxford Street. We hadn’t spoke a word of the night afterwards and our friendship grew further and further apart. Marcus got a promotion and moved to Luton to work at another branch with his law firm Braxton and Co, and we never had enough time to call due to my busy schedule as well as his. I was confused, I had no idea that he was back in London. The sight of him made my heart flutter like a schoolgirl. I wanted to go over to him and say hello. The last time he phoned it was a quick hello to make sure I was okay and that was it.
Now there he was in the flesh, and looking as good as I could remember, or maybe even better. He had a fresh haircut, with his goatee beard and moustache perfectly joined together. His Mocha chocolate skin shining like the glow of a radiant fire. My gosh! What am I doing looking at his every perfection!
If only I could pluck up the courage to go over and say ‘Hi’. I’m sure he wouldn’t ignore me. But my feet would not move, I had frozen at the sight of him. He had that power over me, he was my kryptonite and he had made me as weak as I could ever be. No one else has ever had that effect on me to this day.
He was now out of vision as he entered the huge doors to Selfridges, and became lost within the crowd. I can now breathe again…
I dived into my purse franticly looking for my phone, dismissing the fact that I was blocking other peoples walk way, as they angrily brushed past me. I just have to phone Leyah and tell her Marcus was back in London.