Chapter 16.1- Leyah

“Look you need to stop calling me. Why are you checking up on me anyway? Have you nothing better to do?” I shouted down the phone, whilst trying to make a cup of tea.
“I'm not checking up on you, I’m checking how my baby girl is”
I gritted my teeth. “She is fine now, just like half an hour ago when you called and the hour before that! Look I do have things to sort out! Your constant phoning is disturbing me now Reese I am trying to be polite!”
I was getting very irritated now. Asia only had a little temperature and runny nose and Reese was treating it like she had been diagnosed with Meningitis! I knew that this was just an excuse, he was acting more anxious than usual, like he was so concerned that he should come around to make sure that she was okay. Anything to try and come down in order for him to try persuade me that he has changed! Anything to make my blood boil! Rub the situation in my face!
“Leyah I'm just concerned about my babies’ health. I’m here to make sure she is okay. I'm worried”
“Please Reese! Are you trying to say that I am incapable of looking after my daughter and nursing her back to health?”
“Correction ‘our’ daughter! And I'm not saying that and you know it. But I just want to ensure that she is okay. Did you give her the night dose for her medicine?”
“Look I’m going now Reese!”
I hung up the phone. He was calling too much now. Not only was it infuriating but I was also becoming to be suspicious at his real motive! He had been the one to collect her from school yesterday, because they could not get hold of me and now he was not letting me forget it! He was everywhere, every minute, every second and he is not even physically here! At first it was nice of him to check on her after he dropped her home, but as soon as he collected her from school he had taken her to the doctors and collected her medicine from the pharmacy before I was able to do it. He was proving to me that he is capable and that he would drop everything for our daughter. I know he really enjoys being a part of her life. But I know this already, he did not have to reinforce it like this! Maybe he had heard that I was on a date last weekend. But who would have told him? Nah, I’m just being paranoid! I know Reese, this type of behaviour has always been instigated by something or someone!

After he had finally vacated my phone line I went and tucked Asia safely into her princess sheets, reading her favourite Barbie story until she fell asleep. She was so beautiful. Although she looked so much like her father she had the odd little features from me. Her cute button nose, that Reese always admired on me and she also inherited my full-size ears. Other than that she was the perfect clone of her father. I always resented Reese for that. Every time I looked at her she reminded me of him. How he use to make me feel when he used to compliment me every time he saw me or walked into a room. He made me feel like a princess and now he was making Asia feel like one too. He devoted everything to his little girl. She was the apple of his eye. He would do anything for her, even put his relationship at risk for her; which he has done on more than one occasion. Reese did not care. He was the type of man that would cheat, get caught and blame it all on his woman for not giving him enough attention and neglecting his needs! He was an arrogant bastard at times. But he was not my problem. Like I said good luck to Shantel!
My priority is Asia, and as long as he makes sure that he looks after her and does not let any woman affect this, then it is okay with me!

I hadn’t called Lucas as yet as I was still sceptical about our date. Why would he want to take me on such a romantic walk on our first date? He was definitely trying to make me fall into his web fast and furious! I did have fun though, he did seem genuine but things are never as good as they seem.
I should just give him a call and see what he is up to.
I rushed downstairs to look for my mobile phone which I had on charge since Reese had killed the battery calling every hour on the hour!
I contemplated on the move which I was about to do, but quickly resorted to continuing the act before I talked myself out of it. I searched through the phone book and stopped at L. There it was, Lucas. Right here it goes…
“Hello…”
“Hi this is Lucas Banton Speaking”
“Wow, are you always this formal on the phone?”
“Yes I am.” He laughed. “Who am I speaking to?”
”Do you not have my name stored in your phone?”
“Sorry, but I have my bluetooth in and it answered automatically”
“It’s Leyah”
“Oh… hi stranger. Didn’t think that you would call”
“Well of course I would, why wouldn’t I?”
“One second…”
I listened carefully as I heard him close a door, entering somewhere more quite.
“Sorry… Well it has been two weeks since our date and every time I offer to take you out again you provide a new excuse!”
“They were not excuses. I have just been busy with all this studying I’m doing at the moment”
“Okay. Well I will let you off. But you have to make it up to me!”
Look at him. Make what up! He is lucky that I even phoned him at all. “Make what up? What for?”
“Make up the two weeks which you have been denying me of your wonderful company and grace”
I had to laugh, this mans charm is so cheesy! “Well I will let you take me out to Musiq Soulchild concert in a couple of weeks”
“Wow, your very demanding aren’t you? Okay. I guess it’s a date then!”
I thought to myself, I’m not going to give this man the pleasure of my company again so easy. I better do it right and let him work for this! Musiq Soulchild tickets were just the answer. I wanted to go to this for the longest, but I didn’t want to be there with my girls looking like a lonely hearts column displayed for all to see. Most people would be there with their partners, holding hands, hugging each other and singing to the words. That was my mistake when I went to the Joe concert last year. I felt so pathetic standing there with Keshia by my side. Don’t get me wrong I was glad for the company and it was one hell of a concert, but I needed to be there with the opposite sex.
Now Lucas taking me to this concert was a test to see how much he really wanted to go on another date with me, the tickets were almost sold out so he would have to act fast.
“Okay, well I’m going to get onto the tickets, the best seats in the house” He paused for a brief moment and the phone went all muffled. “Leyah, I got to go. We’ll talk soon. Bye”
Lucas hung up the phone suddenly without even waiting for my reply. That was strange. Why did he run so quick? I could hear voices in the background of a woman I think, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was a married man! Men are all the same. Well I’m going to remain positive like Janet always advises. I’m not going to think the worst just because Reese had been a bastard and all the other countless guys we seem to come across. Faith was not one of my strong points at the moment, but I will give it a go. We had just made arrangements to go to see Musiq Soulchild and that was fine with me. Just as long as he keeps his promise then I won’t have much to moan about and part of my faith will be restored.

Chapter Fifteen- Keshia

This was all pretence. Here we were sitting around the large expensive marble dinning table having dinner with his family. Pretending we were happily in love. Yes I do love him, I love him with all my heart but I’m just not sure that I can trust him anymore. I mean once the trust has gone it’s so hard to get it back. I want to get it back, but I don’t know if I can. Things have changed. He has changed, I have changed and after last week’s fiasco with that bitch Shanny I'm not sure if I can fight this fight anymore. But for now I’m just going to pretend that everything is okay with my pretend smile. Bobby has been trying to come straight home everyday this week and I must admit he has started to make more effort but it is not enough. I’m just worried that it may be a little too late.

We were all sat finishing off the raspberry tart with ice cream, listening to Bobby’s mother talking about the family and the recent family scandals. She was making me laugh, because she was a hard core Christian but she could cuss. She could not tame her tongue and told it how it was. Through his mothers gossiping I had learned that Bobby had this cousin who did not know who her son’s father was. Now that was the talk of the year! Bobby’s mum did not stop with that subject for about six months straight. It was frowned upon in his family, and rightfully so. She was a big woman at the age of forty four she should not be getting herself into such situations. Funny thing is Bobby’s mum had this expression where she would turn up her nose and mouth in disgust, her scrawny face sour as if to say ‘Well I’m going to leave them to it as long as it is not my child. The Lord will deal with her’.
Bobby’s sister Christina was lovely we got on well. She worked as a social worker and had the cutest two year old little boy who looked nothing like her. She knew that her brother was a dog and always reminded me that I was the best girlfriend that he had brought home, telling me that I had changed him for the better. Little did she know that things had not really changed at all! It was just all one big performance. Another one of Bobby’s acting roles which he plays in his television dramas. But I opted to keep the peace, I could not tell her the truth. I don’t like to involve other people in our relationship especially his family so I continued to let her think everything was rosy and played my character in the performance of he happy dedicated girlfriend.

Bobby’s mum had a large four bedroom house in Purley with her husband Mathew who was a successful banker. Bobby always used to throw this in my face, boasting that he had grown up in a stable environment and did not grow up on an estate. I hated when he spoke like this, sometimes it would make me feel really low because I had been that ‘estate’ girl. I grew up on poverty stricken North Peckham Estate and I did not know my father until I was in my teens. My mum got pregnant and had two other children with another man, who later also disappeared leaving her to raise us all on her own. Yes we were a stereotypical family from Peckham but I was determined to do something with my life, make better from the torn streets which I had grown up in. Unfortunately my younger brothers failed to think like me. They’re mentalities are totally different, you could say that they are a bit ‘hood’. Twenty one year old Kirk is currently serving time in Her Majesties Prison for gun and drug charges and Kyle was the biggest ‘Shotta’ on the estate, at his tender age of nineteen he did not want to hear anything from anyone. He did not even learn from the example of his older brother. Everyone thought that it would make him wake up and see that that lifestyle was not as glorious as some make it out to be, but Kyle just believes it was a ‘set up’ a scheme which the ‘youngers’ plotted to get ‘Dripsy’ as they called Kirk, off the street. Now he thinks that he has to guard his ‘manor’! I just leave him to it now, I’m fed up of talking to him. He is fully aware of the consequences, he has seen it first hand. Even one of his close friends was shot and killed a few months ago but he still doesn’t learn. It’s so sad. I work with a lot of youths like him and I hear so many stories, but I can’t help my own brothers. They have gone too far.
I make time to visit Kirk every few months, send him money and other needed items. I hate to see him locked up like an animal and he knows that I’m disappointed in him. Everyday I pray that when he eventually gets out on parole he will turn his life around. Especially as he has two children out here, with two different mothers who need their father!
Bobby’s life was more stable, yes indeed it was but I had to remind him every so often that his family was far from perfect and he is the prime example of this.

I bent down and loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher with Bobby’s reluctant assistance. He was standing humouring his sisters husband who thought he knew everything and was trying to explain to his mum and sister about Caribbean descendants being lost, not having any identity and blaming the increasing drugs and crime on us. My blood was boiling! That man could chat so much shit. I had to get out of that room, because being the only one in the house who was from Jamaican parentage I would have got ignorant up in there! I decided to hide out in the kitchen trying not to cause a scene due to the fact that I was becoming increasingly offended by the comments. Bobby could see it in my face that I was annoyed and had followed my exit.
We had finished loading the dishes and I rinsed off my hands in the designer sink. I swear his parents were involved in some sort of scam. I don’t know how they afforded such a state of the art house, when she was only a nurse. I knew all those trips to Nigeria were suspicious! I laughed to myself thinking of my stupidity. I saw Booby looking out the kitchen door, checking that no one was nearby, once he was sure that we were alone he decided to try and divert my frustration and anger by kissing my neck. Damn, he knew I loved that. He began working his way up to my ear lobes slowly. My tension slowly fading away.
“Stop. What are you doing?” I interrupted, moving my neck away.
“Nothing. It feels nice doesn’t it?”
I mumbled in agreement, succumbing to the feeling as I gave him back my neck.
“Come follow me up stairs quickly” He whispered, taking hold of my left hand.
I looked up at him shocked. Oh my gosh, Bobby was playing with fire and I liked it. It was exciting. We sneaked up the back set of stairs and went into the large guest bathroom, locking the door behind us. We were acting like two naughty teens hiding from our parents. He was horny and I could feel his bulge through his jeans as he pressed me against his groin eagerly. We began kissing passionately. We haven’t kissed like this for ages, the more he held me tighter the more I wanted him. He fondled with my dress attempting to take off my panties. As soon as he succeeded I unzipped his zip and he spun me around and leaned me up against the clean white sink while he inserted me from behind with a huge thrust. He felt so good, I needed this. As he entered deeper, he began making a groaning noise. I think he forgot where we were. I tried to tell him to shush, which failed so I took my hand and placed it over his mouth. Through all the excitement he thrusted deeper and deeper until we both climaxed.
Sometimes the quickies were the best sexual moments you have, sometimes it was well needed to bring the spark back into the relationship and today it had worked for us.
He slowly pulled out while he kissed me all over my cheeks and neck, cleaning himself up with the wipes under the bathroom cabinet. After we both cleaned up we discreetly went back downstairs with a cheeky grin on our face holding hands, like nothing happened. When we entered the living room I saw his sister give me a smile which said ‘Yeah, I know what you two were up to’. Right now I didn’t care, I was uplifted. I was satisfied. Bobby and I had not had sex since the first week he moved back in. The passion was dead, which was partly due to my anger with him and the decisions he had made. But now it was back!

We travelled the thirty-five minute drive back home with huge smiles on our faces; the ten minutes in his parent’s bathroom had changed our feelings for the better.
When we reached back into our house I began to tidy up while Bobby sat practicing the script for the new drama series he was scheduled to play. He had landed the role of an aspiring footballer who was torn between the streets and his dreams. I hated when Bobby took such stereotypical roles, but he always assured me that some recognition was better than none at all. I guess he was sort of right, it could lead to bigger roles. Hollywood as he had hoped.
Since Bobby moved into the flat I had failed to give it the through attention it needed, it was well in desperate need of a clean. It still looked disorganised no matter how many times I tried to organise his stuff, he still had bits all over the place. This cleaning venture was a way for me to find a home for all of them, well a corner or cupboard to squash them into. I dusted, polished and swept the flat down, which took me two solid hours. The whole time bobby did nothing but watch. He thought it was better that way because he would just get in my way.
Once I finished wiping down the kitchen floors, I wiped my brow and decided that enough was enough. I needed a break. The first thought that sprung into my mind was to go to the gym and have a nice relaxing session in the sauna. As the vision of me relaxing played through my mind I escaped into the bedroom to change into my gym clothes.
“Babes, I’m going to go down to the gym. So, you can have some time to recite your lines. I will be back in a little while”
“Okay, baby. Be good” He said peering over his script.
“I should be telling you that babes!”
I gave Bobby a quick kiss on his succulent full lips and grabbed my gym bag out of the cupboard by the front door, which I had to pull out from the many boxes of Bobby’s crap. I picked up the car keys and walked out the door, onto the landing and down the steps of the flat, through the communal door.

Once outside I felt refreshed. I took a breath of the fresh air, reached into the pocket of my tracksuit bottom and took out my mobile phone to give Janet a call hoping that she would join me. As I dialled her number I walked to the car parked in our allocated bay. We had allocated residents parking which was a joke sometimes, because you would come home to find someone had parked their car in your space. I was fed up with that happening so I adopted the routine that I would park my car in front of the culprit and block them in. Leaving them to beep their horn and wait for me to move my car. Equal inconvenience!
I unlocked the car, opened the door and got in with my phone on my right ear waiting for an answer.
“Hey Kesh. What’s up?”
“I'm just on my way to the gym. You fancy joining me?”
“Well, I’m not doing anything at the moment, this can wait. So okay”
“Alright I’m going to come for you now”
I hated going to the gym by myself as it meant that I would have to engage in small talk with other regulars and discuss things that I was not really interested in. It did have its benefits thou, for example you would hear about the staff members who were dating the members or having ‘relations’ with them and where. It was a raunchy world out there!
My feet couldn’t even touch the pedals because of Bobby’s long legs. We often shared cars, but his BMW 3 series was currently at the garage receiving a service. It was nice to have the variety at times as it was noticeable difference from my 1999 Audi A3. I just thrived on the automatic/ triptronic gearbox, I loved being able to just put my foot down and go instead of fiddling with gears. It was a nice break.
I started the engine and pushed the stick into reverse, slowly backing out of the parking space, past Mrs Wilmore’s red Grand Cherokee and out onto the main road. Weaving through the back streets it only took me ten minutes to get to Janet’s. I pulled up outside her house beeping my horn for her to come out, noticing her peer from the curtain. Her street was nice and quite, looking like a miniature suburb. Full of detached houses, with driveways and beautifully manicured gardens. A rear sight nowadays in this area.
Two minutes later, Janet appeared at the front door with her gym bag on her shoulder wearing her black Nike tracksuit.
“Hey, lets go”
We took the short drive to the gym and parked up, finding a good space today. Normally finding parking was a nightmare, it seemed as though everyone came to this gym, although I rarely saw anyone who I knew.

We walked into the deserted foyer swiping our membership cards through the barriers. Once inside we proceeded to the female locker room and locked away our belongings. Placing our membership card against the locker to secure its safety.

We entered the busy gym and spotted two free machines so we decided to do a short cardio workout before hitting the sauna. Sweat dripped down Janet’s face as she pushed herself on the rowing machine, while I ran at a steady pace on the running machine conscious of my aching bones following the extensive cleaning routine I recently conducted. I casually looked around, suddenly noticing a familiar reflection in the mirror in front of me. I turned around and looked to my far left absorbing the tall, muscled body which was dressed in a tight white vest and black tracksuit bottoms, his locks were all tied back in a ponytail. I could recognise the back of that frame any day! I gasped, what was he doing here? I swiftly turned away to look at my reflection to ensure that I was looking presentable, which was not the case. Sweat was dripping down my face, my black head tie holding my hair off my face and no make up! Damn, he may not even recognise me, let alone remember our convo. I continued working out on the machine, pretending not to notice him, glancing out of the corner of my eye every few seconds to see what he was doing. I wanted to alert Janet to the new wonder at the gym, but she had moved to a machine at the far end. Suddenly he stepped away from the weights, leaving it to the skinny underfed young white boy waiting and briskly started to walk towards the empty machines beside me, drying his sweat with his black towel. My eyes never left his sight as I secretly watched him through the mirror, hoping that he would come my way. I quickly turned, hoping that he didn’t notice me staring. He stopped at the empty machine beside mine, failing to notice me while he preceded his work out, placing his water in the holder. Slowly he worked up his pace.
There came the glance, followed by a double take. Finally.
“Hey! I know you from somewhere, don’t I?” He questioned, with his brow forming a confused state.
“Erm, I don’t know. You do look kind of familiar” Yes I well and truly knew who he was, I just did not want to act like I was desperate out here, like he has been on my mind ever since we met. So I continued to play the guessing game for the next few minutes until he finally remembered where he knew me from.
“That’s it. You were down at the Velvet Café the other week. Yeah, with a group of other beautiful women”
“Yes, I was…Oh yeah! You’re… the musician” I said convincingly.
“Yeah. Funny to see you here. It must be fate!”
“Wow. It must be. What are the odds of this?” I said flirtatiously. “How have you been anyway?”
“I've been okay. And yourself?”
“Well, I’ve been good. I can’t really complain” I was trying to act casual while pretending to concentrate on my workout and look sexy at the same time.
“You work out here a lot?”
“Yeah, I’m a regular here. Work out like three times per week. Surprised I haven’t noticed you here before.” I queried.
“Well I’ve been so busy lately. I haven’t really had time to attend the gym. But today I decided I must make the time”.
“Good thing you did or I may not have had the pleasure of seeing you again”
Wow, I can’t believe Kamarni was here, at my gym! He was sure wearing the hell out of that tight white cotton vest. Like heck he hasn’t been to the gym in ages. His body sure shows otherwise, it was so toned and defined. I released a breath, he looked like he did at least five hundred press ups a day!
I slowed down my machine. “So how’s your music going? Have you performed anywhere recently?”
“Yeah. I have this regular spot down at Marshals on a Tuesday night, that’s pretty good. I'm getting a lot of feedback from that”
“So you’re a big star then. The ladies must surely love you”
“Nah. Not really. I just go and do my thing. I'm not interested in the groupies. I'm too old for that now. I just play because I love it. I love the feeling it gives to other people. You know!”
If only he knew what kind of feelings it had evoked in me that night and how I could listen to him all night long! “That’s good. You know, you’ve got some really good talent. You can go really far. So have you got a recording contract?”
“Nah, not really. Don’t really like the idea. I just like doing the little small things, you know. You get a recording contract, and they want to change you. They want to change your style and mould you into something commercial. I'm not really down for something like that!”
“I understand, a lot of musicians lose their roots when they go commercial”
We had a connection; I could feel it pulling from my body as we spoke. He was so sexy. I watched his lips as he told me about his inspiration for writing. Damn, he licked his lips just like Morris Chestnut. I loved talking with this man; he made me feel so relaxed, yet shy. Here we were working out together, talking like it was meant to be today. After a further ten minutes passed my body was becoming hot and my heart rate increasing, causing me to take frequent sips on my water. I don’t know if it was the exercise or being next to Kamarni which was making me so hot. He was running like he was a pro at it. I could tell he had a lot of stamina and endurance!
I caught myself staring at him in the mirror, looking too intensely at his body as he ran, his muscles in his arm flexing with every stride, his firm chest standing to attention with every pace. Wow! My observation was interrupted…
“Here you are girl”
“Hey Janet. Look who is here. You remember Kamarni don’t you? From the Velvet Café the other week?”
“Yes I do. How are you?” She asked inquisitively, wearing her white towel around her neck.
“I'm… fine thanks… just trying to… keep fit and burn some calories”
“Well from here it doesn’t look as though you should have such a hard time” Responded Janet.
We all laughed. I watched on as Janet secretly looked him up and down, discretely checking out his every asset under his lose tracksuit bottoms and tight white vest. And why not, he was one good looking man! She must have sensed that she was spoiling my vibes, deciding to retreat to the abs machine. Kamarni slowly reduced the pace of his machine, until it finally stopped. He reached to the drink holder and took a long sip of his Evian Water. How I wished that I were that bottle right now. I watched the condensation from the melted ice drip down his right arm, slowly running and enchantingly teasing me.
“I love the feeling after a long… hard workout. How about you?”
His emphasised words uttered passion and sensuality. I could hear the seduction in his tone, reading the innuendos between his words. Yes I would love to have a personal work out with you too!
“Yeah. It makes me feel so relaxed, you know… I’m able to let myself go and pay attention to the areas which haven’t been worked on for a while”
“Yeah. I hear that! So… Keshia…”
He remembered my name!
“Tell me more about yourself, what do you do for a living?”
We walked over to the benches like two old friends reminiscing as I began to explain. “Well I work for a company called ‘Urban solutions’ where I help to arrange fundraising events for under privileged and socially excluded youths”
“Sounds interesting”
“Yeah it is. I enjoy it. You know, giving something back to the youths”
He shook his head in agreement. “I hear that. They need some guidance out here”
“What about yourself, what else do you do for a living besides playing music to please others?”
“Well I am actually career hoping at the moment. By day I am a delivery driver, used to be a market researcher but got bored so here I am”
“You know. I'm actually working on this next project of mine. Called the ‘Big Brother sponsorship’ and you would make a great mentor for one of our young black boys”. Bingo! This was a way for me to slyly get his number. Please say yes. Please say yes!
He laughed before answering my question.
“You know, you’re good. I can see that you must be a prized possession for your company”
“Well, you know how it is. Come on you would be good at it. You will only need to spend a few hours per week with one of our boys. Let him see what it is like to have drive and ambition, to be somebody other than a drug dealer or a gun wielding rapper”
“Okay. As you put it like that. Sure. I will sign up”
“Great. I will get your number from you before you leave”
Yes. I had done it. I had successfully coached Kamarni into giving me his number. Well it wasn’t actually all lies. I was actually planning on doing a mentoring programme, but the project had not yet been approved by senior management. But it will be. Definitely now!

We continued to sit and talk on the exercise bikes, sharing small parts of our lives with one another as the rest of the sweaty gym worked out we laughed. We joked. We even doubled up as gym partners on the weights. I stood over his mahogany shimmering body encouraging him to do five more lifts of the 135kg weights. While he continued his sets I scanned the gym looking for Janet, conscious that I had been basically ignoring her for my own selfish reasons. I noticed her over in the corner talking to one of the other female regulars we normally see in here. Debbie was her name. She was a charcoal coloured completion with a long pointy nose, which reminded me of my French teacher at school. Man, she was funny. She was wearing leopard print leggings and a tight black vest with her huge titties struggling not to jump out and say hello. I don’t know how she can even think to attend the gym looking like that. What kind of workout can she actually do in that get up! You have to laugh!
Kamarni, finished his last set and suggested that we go to the sauna. How would I cope in a hot steamy room with this man, controlling the tigress within, stopping her from leaping out at him! I need to bring Janet along. Yes she would be my restraint. He followed as we went over to get her, walking past the used gym equipment and towards the workout mats before spotting Janet doing squats with Debbie.
“Jay, you ready to go in the Sauna?”
“Hey Keshia girl. Who is this fine brotha?” Debbie said in her loud fake American accent.
Wow she was quick on the mark. Her eyes were all over ‘My’ Kamarni.
“Well this is my friend Kamarni. Kamarni meet Debbie”
They shook hands. Debbie holding on as long as she could, caressing his soft firm hands. Okay bitch let go! I was being all territorial towards something which was not even mine yet! Calm down Kesh!
She finally released her grip and let his hand slide out of her palm. Before Janet could answer Debbie jumped in and invited herself to the sauna with us. I looked at Janet, who looked back at me, then we both looked at Kamarni quickly. He had this puzzled expression on his face, like he had just seen the Prime Minister pumping weights. He clearly did not understand why we were hesitant about Debbie coming into the sauna with us. But he soon found out…
Janet grabbed her cotton towel, while Debbie picked up her water bottle desperately trying to seduce Kamarni’s body with her large watermelons. I shot her a look, which stated ‘don’t even think about it’. I could see what she was thinking and what she was planning was not in my game plan.
We all walked through the air conditioned corridor, past the swimming pool which was filled with swimmers performing various techniques in the warm, chlorine filled water. As we were walking Kamarni gestured with his head to two young guys casually walking through the complex. Debbie recognised the tall mixed race one sporting an old school high top. He looked like a washed out wannabe player. She exchanged a brief hello with him as he undressed her with his eyes which wasn’t hard considering that she hardly had on any clothes. Err!
We stopped at the changing room to strip off into our swimsuits. Debbie of course changed into the skimpiest zebra print swimsuit. She loved to show her best assets to the fullest. Her breast were double F’s, all natural which she constantly reminded us of every time we saw her. I changed into a simple black swimsuit which was low cut at the front. Nothing special. I looked in the mirror quickly, conscious that my flesh would be on display to the sexy musician. Good no visible marks. Only the sight of my footprint tattoos on my right ankle. Janet wore an army green tankini, with her hair tied up in a towelled head wrap. Finally ready we walked out into the open, holding our towels, ready to go and steam all our aches and stresses away.
We reached the sauna and Kamarni was waiting outside. Damn… all three of us stopped in ore. I had to lick my lips. He had on blue Addidas shorts exposing his bare chest which was even better than I visioned. Where had this Black Pharaoh come from, he was beyond what I had ever imagined. He had a perfect toned complexion, not a blemish in sight. I had a thing for tattoos and he had a few, I looked on admiring his upper left breast with a Lion scratching out his claw. Following his sexiness I saw another one on his upper left arm of a Crucifix and the words- ‘Only God can judge me’, decorating his right upper arm was Chinese writing. His muscles bulged making the tattoos appear larger. Breathe.

He held open the heavy steamed glass door for us to enter. Thankfully it was not too packed, only two other ladies filled the room. They both looked like they were in a world of their own, minding their own business taking advantage of the steam, heat and blissful silence. The lady lying on the top deck was in her early 20’s, reading the latest copy of Essence magazine. She was showing off her assets wearing a pink and white striped bikini. With her perfectly toned flat stomach on display, complimenting her cubic zirconia silver belly piercing. I caught Kamarni glancing over at her but quickly retreating remembering he had company. The other woman was older; her head was invaded by grey hair which was placed in a bun at the top of her head. Janet and I both had to laugh as she had her flowery towel wrapped around her, with a plastic steam cap on her head. She did not care about her presentation. Even in the company of a fine brotha like Kamarni. Why should she, she was sporting a very heavy diamond cut ring on her wedding finger. Only the three of us looked like desperate potential girlfriends, admiring Gods finest creation. Even the young girl had to look twice and push out her chest a little further, hoping to draw some attention. She looked as though she was used to receiving daily compliments. We occupied seats on the nearest benches we could find, Debbie rushing past me to grab a seat near to Kamarni. This was like a fight for the last snatch of Zebra in an African Jungle. She was out to capture my prey. Janet and I shared a glance and shook our heads. We took our towels and placed them on our space on the wooden benches, lying down on them casually. Debbie got up and poured more water on the hot stones which occupied the left corner of the medium wooden based room. Hot steam rose instantly. She sat back down, complimenting Kamarni’s physique trying desperately for a compliment in return. Ignoring her desperations we passed time discussing the latest song by R. Kelly and the sexual accusations he was facing. Debbie was all in Kamarni’s face and you could see that he felt uncomfortable. The young girl got up and left the room, unsatisfied that she did not get any formal recognition. Kamarni took his cue and rose up, adjusting his composure he walked over to the corner of the room and relocated himself beside me, changing the conversation swiftly.
Being all hot and sweaty next to Kamarni was heavenly. Although we were not in the type of situation I would have liked us to be in, it was nice. I wanted this man. He was intriguing and sexy. I wanted to know more. We all sat there for the next ten minutes laughing and joking. He had a wicked sense of humour. Everyone was laughing, even the older lady was engrossed in our conversation and was laughing along with us.
Time had passed and Janet made the first move to get up and out. The heat was becoming unbearable. So we all took that as our cue and decided to finally exit as the room became occupied with a few other members.
Once outside the sauna, we said our goodbyes knowing that the time we had shared had come to an end. We would all go and shower, change and return back to our lives outside of the gym. Back to normality. As we stood outside of the sauna I was subconsciously waiting on Kamarni to make the first move. He looked at me, discreetly giving me the once up and down while doing his Morris Chestnut impression. Yes, this was my moment. I felt the mutual attraction. The sparks which flew between us. Janet and Debbie had already retuned to the lockers. It was just the two of us in the corridor. He lent forward, I could feel his warm breath touch my cheek and he whispered in my ear…
“So how are we going to do this then?”
My heart stopped. Was he offering me an indecent proposal, here in the gym or was I imagining it. Reading too much into his words? “Do what?” I stuttered, feeling all flustered.
“How are you going to get my number? You’re going to have to wait for me to get changed”
“Oh…yeah… I nearly forgot, my mind was else where.” Somewhere wrapped up in silk sheets with you! “Meet me by the front desk after you change”
“Sure”
I watched as he walked off into the men’s changing area. I can’t get over how sexy he was. Where has he been all my life! Why didn’t I meet him before I met Bobby!

Twenty minutes later and I was waiting outside at the front desk. I had to give Janet a quick briefing why we were waiting for Kamarni and as expected she gave me the first degree, trying to plug me for more information. I told her how it was. He was helping me with my latest project and wanted to be a mentor for the youths. Of course she didn’t believe that was my main motive. Janet could read me like a book sometimes. She knew that I was gaming for Kamarni and knew that I was looking him and looking him hard! She turned and looked at me seriously, warning me that I should be careful, before it ended in tears. Please! It wont, well at least it will not be me shedding the tears.
Kamarni came walking out of the distance and through the barriers. He had put on dark denim jeans and a stone coloured Timberland jumper, his platinum chain hanging down his chest complementing a custom made diamond studded guitar pendant. He walked up to us with a smile on his face, apologising for keeping us waiting, explaining that one of the guys were talking to him about training together which he dismissed.
He looked at his Armarni watch and moved his bag on his right shoulder a little higher. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, placed it in my hand and then made a very impressive attempt at the seductive biting of the lip. He looked dead into my eye, ensuring that our gaze was engaged and spoke to me with the softest sound of an Angel.
“Make sure you call me… Right sorry but I’ve got to rush. You ladies drive safe, and take care of yourselves. We should do it again sometime.”
Yes we should and sooner than later, I thought! We exchanged kisses on the cheek and quick goodbyes before he rushed out of the gym leaving me and Janet conferring to ourselves. We picked our bags off the floor, said goodbye to the reception staff and walked out the automatic doors to the car. As we began to walk I caught a glimpse of Kamarni driving out of the parking lot in a black Volkswagen Golf. As he saw me, he slanted his head and gave me a wink as he sped by. Janet turned and looked at me suspiciously.
“Okay. Now give me the real low-down”
She looked at me with her intrigued brown eyes, ready to hear what I had planned for Kamarni. I wanted to tell her but there was nothing much really to say at this moment. I mean all we did was have a little work out together. Yeah I got his number, but that was on a business basis not yet pleasure!

While we drove to Janet’s, I explained the attraction which I had towards Kamarni. The sparks which I felt and the sexual tension which was obvious as we worked out together.
“Wow. Kesh you are such trouble. I must admit he is one fine brother, but you got Bobby. I thought you two were working things out?”
“Yeah we are. But Jay, it just doesn’t feel right anymore. I mean I know he’s still doing the same shit. Still talking with that bitch Shanny, and believe me I am not NO fool!”
“Yeah, but Kesh two wrongs don’t make a right. Think about it first”
“I have. Look nothing is going to happen. I've just got mad lust for Kamarni, like every other woman with eyes. Come on, he is so sexy. You can’t blame me”
“Yeah I can’t blame you. But just be careful. Don’t get yourself into anything you can’t easily get out of”
Here she goes with her ‘better than thou’ reasoning. I'm a grown woman. I've got to keep my options open.

I dropped Janet off at her house and gave her an excuse for not coming in for a drink. I had enough of her talking me out of Kamarni. As she climbed out the car and shut the door behind her, I reached into my pocket and took out the piece of newspaper Kamarni had written his number on. I looked at it, smiled to myself and then put the number back into my tracksuit pocket, patting it to ensure its safety and proud of myself that I had managed to obtain it. I gathered my thoughts, pushed my foot down on the clutch, slipped into first gear and drove off home.

Chapter Fourteen- Leyah

“Thanks for the lovely flowers, you really didn’t have to”
“So when you going to let me take you out, princess?”
I held the phone, rolling my eyes as he spoke. I could not believe this man was hounding me like this. He would not take no for an answer! Does he think that he can send me flowers and I will jump to his every demand!

Brian was a nice person to talk to, we were able to discuss everything from music to politics. Only problem was that he was not a very good looking man. No actually I won’t say that, but he was not ‘my’ type. He wanted to be with me, and he wanted to be with me bad. When we had conversations he would always mention his desire to have children, and how he would be a good father, and step father to my daughter. Wow, now that kind of talk freaked me out, he was going too far! He just would not take the subtle let downs to show him that I was not interested. Just because I have one child already he thought that maybe I was some kind of baby making machine, that I should be happy to roll over and have another one! Well I had some news for him; Not only am I not interested in him, I am not interested in having any more children for now either. I mean I'm just getting my body back, and it has not been easy.
Dating was kind of hard for me, because I haven’t really been with anyone since my trauma with Reese. He really traumatised me for life! I can’t trust another man, well I find it very hard to trust any man. I gave my everything to Reese, and he just took my heart, chewed it up, spat on it and then stepped all over it again! I don’t really want any man at the moment anyway! I'm fine by myself. I’ve got Asia to concentrate on.
My friends don’t understand my philosophy to survival without a man. Don’t get me wrong I have urges, I’m only human. But I haven’t slept with anyone in the past year! I’ve been utilising the platinum rabbit that Keshia bought me for my birthday.

I was seeing this guy briefly; Ricky who worked on the floor above me. He was 5’6, caramel complexion and funny. We got along well, and would meet up frequently for lunch. After a few months we started seeing each other. I wasn’t really interested in anything long term, so we had an ‘understanding’ where I would go around his house for a ‘fix’ when I needed it, and we were free to date other people. It only lasted about four months, which was because he met somebody else, somebody who wanted more. I wasn’t upset about it, because at that time I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship, where I left myself open to be hurt. So good luck to him! I still talk to him now, and he is happy. He’s engaged and living in Slough with his woman. His relationship is all a big lie if you ask me, because he is still phoning me asking to come round, and I know what he meant by ‘come round’. He wanted to come and ravish my body, make me hot and wet. It was tempting sometimes as he was able to fix my needs, but I always reminded him of his current relationship status. How dare he! How can he be putting such things on me, knowing that he has a fiancée who he shares a bed with every night! That is exactly one of the reasons why I am not in any hurry to be in a relationship. Your man could come home every night, but still be playing out there. Living together does not mean anything; there is no guarantee to a monogamous relationship anymore. Men are all the same!

I glimpsed in the mirror as I continued to moisturize the cream into my silky skin, making sure that every spot was covered. Tonight I was going on a date with Lucas. He was this guy who I met while I was shopping at Tesco last month. I could feel him staring at me as I walked through the isles, then eventually we ended up in the same queue. When I turned and looked at him he plucked up the courage to ask me my name, trying to be discrete. I did not want to tell him, but I didn’t want to embarrass him or myself in the busy supermarket that afternoon, and I must admit he initially came across smooth so I told him. A short conversation pursued whist the middle aged Asian shop assistant rang up my items and I paid. As I continued to pack my shopping, he felt more confident and bold and asked me for my number. At first I pretended like I didn’t hear him, then he stepped closer and repeated it. I had to kindly let him down, which did not deter him as he offered me his business card.
I had kept the card with his number in my bag for two weeks. But after I mentioned it to the girls, they insisted that I called him and now here I am, about to embark on our first date. I don’t even know why I am actually bothering. He did appear to be a nice guy thou. He had gone out of his way in every conversation to try and prove to me that he was not one of those useless guys, telling me that he was currently trying to set up his own business. I don’t know what in because I haven’t really taken too much interest and his business card only provided his name and number. I’m only going out with him because Keshia and Janet keep on telling me that I need to get out more, how I need to give men a chance. But to be honest it is a waste of time. They are all just full of shit! They spit a load of lyrics which is in a manual or something and then get what they want and disappear back to their woman at home waiting!
I stopped and thought about the situation, having spoken to Lucas on the phone over the past few weeks he seemed to be nice, polite, ambitious, comical and sweet. But that’s how they trap you! You fall for them before you get to know the ‘real’ them. The man underneath all the persona, only to find out that he is a fake! Everything was a lie! But this time I am going to try, I'm not going to take my old baggage on my new journey. I’m going to give Lucas a chance to prove me wrong. To prove that not all men are the same. They are not all lying, scandaless, cheating, deceiving dogs, but there are the very small percentage that are honest, trustworthy, dedicated, and loving. I'm yet to be convinced!

I had driven the short journey through the traffic to drop Asia to my mothers earlier. I couldn’t let Reese look after her, because that would have just been too much headache. He would of asked me a series of questions; not that I have to answer to him or hide anything from him, but I just did not want him snooping around for the next few weeks trying to see who the mystery man is, so I felt it was best to drop her to mums. She could keep her company for the night, and mum was always happy to have her grand-daughter around, keeping her entertained.

As the time passed on I stood in my mirror ensuring that my dress was hugging in all the right places. Tonight I was wearing the hell out of my black low cut dress, which rested just below my knees. I looked through my messy jewellery box and decided to dress it up with some gold accessories. As I untangled my chain, I spotted the Channel earrings which Reese had bought me one Valentines Day. Remembering the time I closed my eyes and smiled, deciding that they would be perfect for tonight. I stretched my arms under my bed and found the shoe box for my gold strappy shoes. I retouched my hair, which I had let down, as I normally wore my black and blonde twists up in a pony. This style gave me a wild mysterious look, which complimented my minimal make-up. I wasn’t really into making an effort anymore, but I still wanted to be desirable, I wanted to let the men know out there what they were actually missing with all their ‘player’ antics.

It was now seven thirty, and the night was getting a little chilly. Lucas was due any minute; I quickly sprayed myself with Channel- Chance perfume and waited patiently downstairs.
Ten minutes later there was a knock at my door and I went to answer it. I exposed Lucas who was standing there looking simple but smart, wearing a blue V- neck jumper with some black jeans. Okay, I thought, not bad, but he could have made more of an effort. This must be the subtle look which he was trying to pull off, the look which said ‘I’m laid back and don’t really put a lot of effort into women, because I get them a dime a dozen!’ Look at me analysing his appearance, that one year course in Psychology is to blame. I stood back and watched him admire me, commenting that I looked beautiful, like a fallen angel. This looks like it is going to be a long night!

When I stepped outside my eyes eagerly looked for the car he was driving; a black Audi TT, with a private plate which read SP33DY. Well that says a lot about him! I just know he does not think that he is going to get an easy ride with me! He looked like a typical undercover sweet boy. I wonder how many women he is actually sleeping with at the moment, thinking that it is okay, because they are not ‘exclusive’, that he has not told any of them that they are ‘together’! Well I am not going to be an addition to the countless hopeless women who he has fooled!

He drove at pace to Fulham Broadway, the smooth twin turbo engine growling ferociously. Now I was definitely convinced he was a ‘ladies man’, his vehicle really said it all and the slow jams which he played the whole journey was defiantly the give away.
Eventually we arrived, finding a place to park we walked close together towards the Pink Hummingbird restaurant. He had booked us a lovely table, which had full view of the exotic fishes swimming in the huge fish tank positioned in the wall as a partition.
We sat down and the waiter handed us our menus. I thanked him and opened up the interesting gold menu. My stomach was quietly growling, I just hope that their food tastes as good as the restaurant looks.
“So tell me more about yourself Leyah. All I know about you is that you’re a very beautiful woman, and I don’t understand why someone has not scooped you up already. What’s your flaw then?”
“My flaw, why has it always got to be the woman’s fault! Why do we have to be the ones with the flaws!” I answered slightly irritated as I peered over my menu.
“Okay. Well tell me why you’re still single. Not that it’s a bad thing, it is actually a good thing, especially for me!”
“Well… No I don’t have any flaws for your information! And I’m single because there is a lack of decent men out there. And I have not met anyone worthy to be with me as yet”
“Oh wow, so you are telling me that I am not a decent man then?”
“No, I’m not saying that. I hardly know you. But I have not met any as yet. Well any that are single anyway!”
He stretched out his hand for me to shake. “Well hello Leyah, nice to meet you I’m Mr Decent Single Man!”
We both laughed. He had a habit of constantly looking directly into my eyes when he spoke, trying desperately to seduce me with his words. But I was not falling for his charm, I was immune.

We fell into a debate while we ate, about what constitutes a ‘decent man’ and a dispute followed as I tried to get my point across. I must admit he was funny. He made a joke about all the flaws, which I brought up in men, and found an excuse for almost every trick a man uses in the beginning to hide the fact that they are in a relationship. I don’t know what it was but he kind of intrigued me, but in contradiction to that his responses where making warning lights go off in my head. How could someone understand and interpret such behaviour and make it appear to be alright, that their actions are justified yet not practice that behaviour themselves? He must be like the rest of them!

We finished up our meal, which I thoroughly enjoyed as it definitely lived up to expectations. I looked around admiring the happy diners, as Lucas paid the bill. Soon after we left and strolled back to his car discussing the things which we found irritating in the opposite sex, laughing at some of the things we brought up; such as un-manicured feet, dirty fingernails, body odour and hairy armpits. I observed that he had a thing about women being ‘well kept’. His ideal for a woman was for her to spend her weekend getting beautiful for her man, making sure that her hair and nails were immaculate. That was definitely not me!
The night was warm and still as we almost neared his car, which was now three cars ahead. Just as this old white lady walked past us with her walking stick, Lucas turned and told me that he had a surprise for me. As I queried what it was, still questioning in my head why that old lady was out this time of night on her own. He hushed my thoughts, telling me that he was going to take me there now. I was a bit sceptical about going with him, he was taking me somewhere which could be in the middle of no where and could possible do anything to me! But my instincts said, ‘what the heck’. Plus I had carried my can of mace in my handbag, which was provided by my self-defence class I attended a few months back.

As he drove through the dark streets, I discreetly looked at him, looking at his every imperfection and trying to analyse him. Lucas was a good-looking man, fair skin which I figured may be the result of his part Hispanic genes he talked about. He was about 5’6, he could have done with being a lot taller, but he had the personality which made up for it. He wasn’t really my type, but what was? Reese?!

After driving at speed for twenty five minutes we arrived the destination somewhere in Greenwich. He parked up near some newly built apartments over looking the river, in visual proximity of the O2 arena. I looked on taking in the amazing view. I hope he was not taking me to his house, or a hotel, because I certainly do not get down on the first date!
I rolled my eyes as he got out and opened the heavy door for me, telling me that he wanted to take me somewhere beautiful to show me just how beautiful I was in comparison. I tried to hide my response as I blushed at his cheesy line. Catching me by surprise he slipped his hands into mine, and led me down the pathway along the riverbank. I didn’t pull away as I thought to myself, ‘its not going to hurt, just enjoy the night!’ Listening to my conscience I let him hold my palm, as we strolled hand in hand admiring the lovely view of the moon reflecting on the water and the stars gleaming in the dark. It had been a long time since I had actually admired the stars. The weather was perfect, only a small summer breeze blew on the still waters and a few midnight clouds dressed the sky. I couldn’t believe that I was actually enjoying myself. I was out here on a date, doing something different.
We strolled for about an hour, not worrying about the time. Just walking and enjoying each other’s company, while he made me laugh.
Okay, so maybe I was wrong about the majority of men, but I could not let this one night change my whole perspective and opinion of men. It was only our first date, and this type of behaviour was expected.

We neared the car, and Lucas stopped and pulled my hand to turn me around to face him.
“Leyah, thank you for such a wonderful night. You’re a really interesting woman, and I like that”
“You’re not too bad yourself” I replied, conscious of the awkward situation arising.
“Well I hope we can do this again sometime, maybe I can take you to another one of my favourite spots. There’s this really nice restaurant on a boat in Docklands, that you would love”
“Sounds nice”
I know he better not be expecting a kiss! I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he wanted to make a move, slowly edging himself closer. So before he could attempt to lean forward and lock with my lips, I reached out my hand and opened the car door hastily getting inside, while he stood for a few seconds in disbelief at how he lost the power in the situation.

While he was driving me back home, he had this grin on his face, which made me feel like he felt he had achieved something here tonight. Like he had broken down my defences. But I knew the games men play all to well.

He turned into my street and smoothly parked into a nearby space outside my house, careful not to scratch his 20inch alloys. We both looked out the slightly tinted windows and watched a drunken man stagger down the road almost walking into a set of bins along his way.
“So Leyah. You want to do this again next Saturday?” He questioned, turning down the mellow sounds of D’Angelo playing on the car stereo.
“I don’t think I can. I believe I’ve got something on next week”
“Oh okay, well what about Friday?”
“No, Fridays not a good day for me either. But I will phone you and let you know”
“Okay. Make sure you do. I will be waiting for your call. Look after yourself beautiful”
Now even though I am not doing anything next weekend, I can’t let him know this. I have to act less available, let him stew for a while. Keep him wanting more. Then I will see how interested he actually is. If you’re too available the man knows that he can get you locked in a minute, because you have no other potentials and a lot of free time on your hands which he can fill and then when it is time for him to move on, you’re left depressed and lonely trying to forget all the memories you built together. No way, not me! I have already made that mistake in my life and I am not about to do it again!
I was about to open the car door to exit, when I turned and thanked him for the lovely evening and descended. As I put one foot out he looked at me as if I was doing something wrong, like he expected more. I kindly ignored his look and got out the car, taking my keys out my bag as I started walking up the path and to my front door. I turned around and gave him a quick wave as I reached my doorstep and unlocked the lock. I shut the door behind me, looking through the peephole I noticed that Lucas was still outside. I know he could have never been waiting for me to invite him in for a ‘cup of coffee’. Please! Why do men think that they can expect to come in after taking a lady out, like we are supposed to owe them something! Show them gratitude for the evening! Oh please! I'm fed up of men thinking this. I don’t owe him anything, and he surely was not coming into my abode after one date!
He finally drove away, roaring his engine down the street. I turned and sluggishly walked towards my bedroom to undress and get ready for my bed. It was only ten past midnight, but I was feeling tired. I must admit, I had a nice night. Maybe, just maybe I will give him a call next week.

Update from the author

Hi everyone,

First I would like to thank you all for taking the time out to read my novel.
I just want to update you and apologise for taking so long to make more posts. This is due to me trying to finalise the particulars for the paperback version! Yes you heard me correctly! My book will be published in paperback in the New Year and should hit the stores late January 2010 or February 2010!

Please do go out and purchase a copy and even buy a copy for your mum and best friend.

I will keep you updated, as I am currently trying to decide on the front cover!

Enjoy

Cassandra M Porter
X

Chapter Twelve- Keshia

My eyes were glued in amazement. I slowly licked my glossed lips while taking in everything about him. He was about 6’2, dark toned with small well kept locks. This man had it all. He was dressed in a kaki short sleeved top emphasising his well toned torso, with matching combats clinging onto his big manly thighs sitting directly in my visual proximity, on the highlighted stage by the staircase, playing his guitar with his sexy manly fingers. The whole audience was captured by his sweet sensual sound. It was like the sound of a sweet humming bird coming from the tropical breeze. It was totally phenomenal; it was sensual, the notes he played rushed through my body like a burning pulse. I looked on mesmerised, stuck in a trance. How did he make it feel so real? He appeared not to be making any effort at all as his lips sang the passionate words of lust.
I blinked out of my thoughts. I had made up my mind, as soon as he finishes his set, I’m going to have to say something to him, tell him how his music made me feel!

Janet, Leyah and myself had one of the best tables in the house. We had waited six weeks to reserve a table here at the Velvet Café, this was the place to be at the moment, it was the place for raw, sensational unsigned talent. You would see an array of people performing from poets to comedians in the warm welcoming atmosphere. There venue was decorated with huge dark violet velvet drapes with and scarlet candles complementing the large round tables which were plotted carefully on the main floor opening up the small stage at the front. I looked around and admired the large portraits of various abstracts and city landscapes. The Velvet Café served the most delicious colourful cocktails all presented with perfection, what made it even more unique was the exotic food menu offering a vast selection of meals while you enjoyed the show.
We all looked stunning tonight, wearing various simple but snazzy outfits. Making a statement that we were not desperate for a man to come and take care of us, but could handle our own. It was ladies night out for us, a time to catch up on gossip and give out advice that we would not actually follow ourselves, but it was all part of being a good friend. The night also gave rise to scouting the eye candy, seeking the singles, which were still out on the shelf. I mean we were all practically single. Well apart from myself, but I still had to hook up a plan B. An alternative. I had to line up a friend in waiting because with Bobby most times nothing he says is long lived.

The dimly lit venue was filled with an enormous encore, as the sexy musician finished his set. From the amount of applause he received, you could tell the crowd loved him even the men had to show their appreciation. As he stepped of the stage and into the arms of one of the organisers he was replaced with a less entertaining blonde female hippy looking singer, wearing a pleasantly gorgeous gipsy dress. My eyes desperately tried to follow where the sexy musician was headed as he walked off threw the tables, but the girls constantly interrupted my quest debating the problems with men, and the recent long list of admirers in Leyah’s life, which she ignored. I gave up and turned my concentration back to the conversation, making a mental note to take a trip to the ladies in ten minutes to find the musician.

We sat and enjoyed the sounds of a poet, strongly expressing the lyrics about Love and Pain, feeling every word he spoke intensely as he moved with the words. I looked around the overcrowded room, squinting my eyes through the dark, but there was no sign on the sexy musician.
Finally our platter of spicy Caribbean chicken dippers, and brandy soaked king prawns had arrived, delivered by the exhausted glamour puss waitress when I glimpsed the sexy musician walking through the nearby crowd. My natural instincts jumped out of me as we locked eyes, and I signalled him to come over to our table. I quickly reassessed my posture, trying to look casual and not desperate, whilst ensuring that my best assets were on full display. He looked over indecisively and then decided against ignoring my rudeness and began walking our way…
“Hi, do I know you?” He said exposing his sexy and powerful voice.
“No. Sorry” I said with a little embarrassment in my tone. “I just wanted to tell you that you were fantastic up there tonight, it was impressive. My name is Keshia and you are?”
“I’m Kamarni. Nice to meet you Keshia”
He took hold of my sweaty palm and gently gave it a shake, whilst I tried to linger onto his touch. Here I am talking with the sexy musician, and I’m flirting with him big time, fluttering my heavily mascara eyelashes confidently, picturing that tall torso wrapped around my body. I slowly let go of his hand, fighting back the hot flush that raced though my body remembering that we were not alone.
“Girls meet the star behind the soulful music, which stole my heart” I said with a slight emphasis in my tone, looking dead in his eyes.
“Wow your music was so beautiful”
“Where did you learn to play like that?”
“How long have you been playing?”
“Do you write your own music?”
He laughed. Yes we were all up in his grill. We managed to capture him before all the other hungry women in the club went for the sting. Every single woman in the room was checking out his every asset. Looking for the ring… and ‘yes’ the finger was bare.
Kamarni joined us at our table as I made room for him on the velvet booth, right next to me. His leg accidentally touched mine as he eased his body in. Exhale. We all sat speaking about his music, captured by his every word, listening attentively as he answered our Spanish inquisition. He was so fascinating and not to mention sexy. He spoke so many powerful things in the short time we experienced his presence, showing that he was passionate about his heritage and his love of music. The conversation was inspiring and uplifting for me. He had the ability to recite the appropriate quote to capture the moment, and add his own signature to it. His frame alone was enough to make your body shudder like you had just experienced the biggest organism ever. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to be consumed in this mans life.

“Well ladies, it was nice speaking to you all, but I have to go. You all enjoy the rest of your night and remember to stay blessed…”
That was it, the moment we shared was over, and he was rising to get up without even leaving a contact number.
“…See you around, sometime” He said with a seductive tone, looking directly at me as the words floated from his defined smooth lips. I could see the seduction in his eyes, through his words. In response I bit my lip seductively and gave him a look, which he knew said ‘I sure hope so’. And with that he left, walking through the crowd stopping to talk to the grungy Justin Timberlake lookalike.
“Oh my gosh, snap out of it. You don’t have to look so desperate Kesh” Leyah said with a sniggering tone snapping her long unpolished fingers at me, waking me out of my mesmerised state.
“Yeah, you are one horny lady. And you’re the one with the full time, resident man! Look at us two, we haven’t got anything and you got everything. We got dicks in jars…”
“Ummm hum, and batteries on standby” Leyah added.
“… And there you are being all greedy. Taking all the men, not leaving anything for us. Cor, you undressed him with your eyes a thousand times and exhaled so many times I lost count!”
We all laughed. It was true. I was not satisfied at home, or maybe in life. I was always subconsciously searching. Searching for something better, someone with more to offer, more love to give. I wasn’t even sure that if I found that man, I would be satisfied, but right now all I knew was that I was seeking Kamarni!
“Look Janet, you can talk. Come on, Marcus is back in town and he is the finest brotha EVER, and you just let him slip out your hands again and again!” I preached. “He is one fine chocolate brotha and you need to go and grab your man. Heck I’m jealous I didn’t meet him first, and here you are playing with him!”
“Yep, Kesh has got a point there Jay!” Leyah said in agreement.
Janet immediately rose to her defence. “Look, it just isn’t that simple”
“What! Look if you don’t take risks in life, where would we all be?… In this small safety bubble, scared of making a mistake. Well life is about making mistakes, falling over and getting up and trying again. Stop taking the safer option, it is not always the right one. You will regret it when your old and grey, pondering on what if’s!”
Listen to me, the big relationship philosopher. I had this habit of dishing out good advice for others but not for myself. But I’m a risk taker, I don’t waste time. I react to the moments, not leave them in the air. You haven’t lived until you have taken numerous risks.
“Marcus already has a woman! And anyway any possibility of us being an item is out the window because he told me some shocking news the other night when we went out for a drink”
“Oh my gosh! What was it? He’s not gay is he?” Leyah joked.
We all laughed, but I could tell that this moment of laughter was overcome by a sense of sadness in Janet’s heart. Her eyes always told the truth, and the truth was something she did not want it to be.
“Girls” She took a deep sigh. “… Marcus is engaged, and to top that he is also expecting a baby!”
We both gasped in disbelief. My mind quickly comprehending what she just disclosed.
“What! I can’t believe it. Marcus, getting married! How? When? Why? and with who?” The shocked words rolled from my mouth. I knew it was bad news but I would have never guessed it was as devastating as this. And here I was earlier all self consumed with the sexy musician.
“You know that bloody woman, I told you about that he was flexing with!”
“Oh, not the Personal assistant?” I said scornfully, turning up my nose hoping it was not her.
“Yeah, her! Well she has trapped him, she’s pregnant, and now he feels obliged to marry her. I just can’t believe my Marcus is marrying her. I mean she is such a chicken head. She has nothing but her looks. Marcus has told me things about her from the start. He would have never made her his wife on his own accord. Not to say he isn’t a good guy, because he is…. I know she just wanted to trap him… how could he let himself get trapped like this…” She buried her hands in her head, forcing the tears not to ruin her mascara.
Janet, was really upset despite her breaking down she was talking one hundred miles per hour.
“Look Jay don’t worry about it, it won’t last, he does not love her. I'm sure even she knows that” Leyah said trying to sound comforting while I pulled out a Kleenex from my bag.
“Babes, that woman is dread. Marcus is your man! It’s supposed to be you and him. How did this happen?... Don’t worry about it. Let me get another round of drinks, we need it”

We continued to talk for the next two hours while getting through three more cocktail jugs, trying to comfort Janet. This was bad news! Marcus was one of the most eligible bachelors we knew. Him and Janet were perfect for each other. Since we were in College they had this weird relationship, they were always close. I remember, they looked so sweet together, they complimented each other fluently. Because of their chemistry all the girls in college used to hate Janetand Marcus was such a hansom, lovable guy. If only Janet didn’t take so long to confront her feelings she had towards him, then this would not have happened. He was one of the most perfect men ever; he made me believe that there are actually some good men out in the world.

The bar was still lively when I looked down at my watch noticing the time which had gone so quick. It was now after two o’clock. I enlightened the girls with the time, and we up deciding it was time to make our way home to our separate destinations. I watched the remainder of the crowd sip on their alcoholic beverages, and my mind drifted towards all the happy couples that were in the bar, holding hands, whispering sweet words in their woman’s ears, and touching their partner delicately but enough to declare that they loved them. Love was a beautiful thing, but one feeling which did not knock on our doors very often. We just happened to be the three unluckiest beautiful and successful women on this side of town, who I must add seemed to attract the most useless, un-committing men. When was it going to be one of our turns to be happy, to be the ones getting proposed to by a ‘decent’ man, and have that overwhelming feeling that we have met the one and had decided to build a life together! The thoughts drifted through my mind, until I hastily snapped out of it as I felt Leyah hand me my Red Dior handbag.

We strolled slowly out of the venue and into the chilly deserted streets of Notting Hill, and hailed a taxi as it drove down the road looking for customers leaving the small wine bars and cocktail lounges. The driver needed to make three stops to drop each of us home, we were all too intoxicated to even attempt to drive. The alcohol was acting as a temporary amnesia drug, to help us forget about all the worries in our lives, all the things that we did not want to think about at this present time.
The taxi ride took us over Battersea Bridge, to the first drop off for Leyah in Streatham, then the short journey towards Thornton Heath to drop Janet off. As we pulled up to her house I could see the sadness in her face, the fact that she had to walk into an empty house. I remember that feeling, the notion of being alone, no one to tip toe into the house for in case you woke them up, no one to slip gently into the bed like a feather for just in case you disturbed their tender dreams. It was not a nice feeling, how I don’t miss it at all. But I understood how she was feeling, and to make it worst she was more than likely thinking about Marcus tucked up all snugly with that cow, holding her tightly in his strong muscular arms. I know those thoughts can hurt you like a knife wound to the back, but us women just cant stop thinking about such hurtful things, wishing that it wasn’t so, wishing that we were the ones being held at that moment.
Janet, slowly rose out the taxi, and we exchanged a brief goodbye, as I ordered her to rest her head, telling her that I will call her tomorrow. She murmured the same, before hurriedly walking towards her house, with her keys ready to push through the door. A chilly wind was blowing and the scattered leaves on the streets were dancing a circular motion as if they were reciting a short performance.
After watching Janet disappear into her house safely, the taxi drove off towards my destination through the quite deserted streets of South London. I sat there in the back of the cab thinking about going home, thinking about how I actually felt about Bobby, how I felt about the relationship. Did I actually love him, or was I afraid to be alone! I must love him to put up with all this drama, but in contrast if I did I wouldn’t be flirting all the time with other men. I would be satisfied with him and him alone. But I’m not, I need more, but I’m not sure if I need it from him!

We arrived to my flat, and I paid the taxi driver the fare, which had totalled £54. I took my keys out of my bag as I closed the taxi door, allowing the driver to search for his next customer. The sound of my heels echoed on the pavement as I walked towards the communal door. As I arrived the wind blew across my face and made me shudder quickly, forcing me to take shelter. As I quickly shut the door behind me I climbed the stairs to my second floor flat, thinking about Kamarni and how he made me feel, briefly reliving the moment I stared in his eyes as he was playing and the gentle touch of his aloe vera hands, watching them move seductively over the strings, and his head move in rhythm to the sounds. I opened my eyes forcing myself to gather my thoughts together and get in this house. I quickly looked at my watch, it was now 3:45, I wonder if Bobby is even at home. Knowing him, he is out with his ‘boys’, oh well at least I don’t have to worry about being quiet, not that he does when he comes in late. I pushed the key into the door. Well here goes it…

Chapter Eleven- Leyah

You know there is this period in your life that most women go through, where they meet the most perfect man. He is everything you have ever dreamed, he is hansom, sexy, stylish, sweet, and charming, your family loves him, he is attentive to your every need, he knows how to maintain a smile on your face and keep you feeling all warm inside. He is the perfect fit to you, and you look like a Hollywood couple together, he challenges you physically and mentally. Someone who finishes your sentences for you, without being intimidating, that special someone who makes your body tingle without even touching you, strictly on the basis of reminiscence. Every time you think about that person you can’t help but to smile, because he will never make you cry. The last person who you think about before you go to bed, and the first person who crosses your mind as soon as you wake. That special someone who is real, but sounds like a fairy tale. We all know that someone, we’ve had one or know someone who has experienced one.
Yeah, it’s a damn good feeling, and you hoped it would last forever, only problem is that he has a woman, and he is not yours, but you have developed such a bond that you cant help but think about what life would be like with him for the rest of your life. Come on he ticks all the boxes, it’s just that you did not meet him first and it hurts to even think about all the good loving he is giving his girl. Your heart aches at the thought of someone else holding your property, but he is not. He is not ‘officially’ yours, but in your own perfect, ideal world he would be.

Life can be strange at times, and you will meet someone who appears to be your soul mate, only to find that he has eloped with another.
That was Reese and me. He was everything I ever desired, everything I had pictured as a teen, you know at that age when you start planning how you want your life to be, and how your husband will be, your family. Only thing was that the penny dropped and hit the floor. Reality struck, and although I know he had strong feelings for me, his loyalties were already set. He was with her, she had scooped him up and locked him down. Fortunate for me to some extent the chain was not fully locked and I was able to slip in. Unaware of his situation of course, but in a way I don’t regret any of the moments we shared, even though it was all mainly based on a lie, a mirage, a piece of science fiction. I loved him, it’s just that the Bastard got me pregnant before I woke up and opened my eyes to what was beyond my belief.

I remember one particular time, where the moment was too perfect to be true. We were in hot and sunny Barbados, enjoying this lovely hotel we stayed at called ‘Sandbeach Castle’. Everything was like a fantasy, our hotel room was filled with flowers and candles, Reese had really gone all out for this trip. He paid for everything, and the surprises kept on coming.
One evening I returned from the hotel shopping mall, and I had just bought the sexiest two-piece swimsuit ever, it was white with gold trimmings and a gold belt along the top of the bikini knickers. It was so stunning; I could not leave it on the shelf! When I opened the door to our hotel room all I could hear is the soft sound of R. Kelly’s- ‘Seems like your ready’. Wow. Then I saw this tall, slender shadow in-between the smoke left by the candles walk towards me. He was wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist, holding a flute of champagne in his left hand.
He slowly walked up to me and took the bag out of my hand, handed me the flute, then delicately kissed my forehead and without saying a word he ushered me into the bathroom. Once we entered the huge room he looked deep into my eyes and then proceeded to bend down gliding his hands down my legs before slipping off my sandals. He rose up and kissed my lips so seductively, at that point I had to say something or attempt to say something….
“Baby, what’s this all about?”
“Shhhh”
He silenced me and run his hands up my thighs to my waist and then up to my warm breast, he took of my chiffon lilac dress, I just stood there marvelling in all the control he was taking. I could view the bubbles rising in the luxurious hot tub at the back of the bathroom, surrounded with white candles, and rose petals floating in the large tub.
I was standing there in just my Victoria secrets.
He looked me up and down and my body just melted… before I knew it my underwear was off and he walked me towards the bath directing my feet in slowly, before taking off his towel and tossing it to the ground. We were both consumed by the atmosphere, the soft feel of the bubbles and rose petals. It was so romantic. We didn’t need to say anything, the music said it all. We just lay there; while he stroked my hair and caressed my body for about an hour.
My head was totally consumed by him, he was all I could think about and vision, everything at that moment was perfect. There was nothing to worry about, nothing to consider. But that of course did not last for long!

Reese is a good man, just in a situation. I suppose it happens to the best of us, meaning me. It is easy to fall in love with two people I guess, I mean one may have qualities which the other lacks, one may caress you better than the other, they may stimulate every sense in your body, your mind, heart, every emotion left untouched. So I guess it’s not an easy situation to be in, and it is not one which is planned. You don’t ‘really’ plan who you fall in love with, it just happens most times, you lose total control of yourself and become consumed by the loving and tenderness that person gives. It may not be down to looks, desirable features, wealth or even sex. Sometimes the person just steals your heart and that’s it! I can say that was it for me, I was blind to everything else, I just wanted him, I wanted everything about him to be with me forever, but there is no such thing as forever is there?

Chapter Ten- Keshia

I woke up from my slumber, feeling no guilt at all. Untangling myself from the duvet I turned around and noticed that Bobby was fast asleep as usual after creeping back into the house about five in the morning. Unfortunate for him I was awoken by the sounds of the key unlocking the door. Why do it put up with this shit! It’s not like I can’t get anyone better! I’m sure I could get a whole lot better than him, but I love him and we should try.
I mean I shouldn’t give up too easy.
I should give it a chance.
I’ve been too hasty in the past, to quick to move on, so I’m going to work at this one, but how can I work alone? A relationship takes two and Bobby needs to start playing his part in this.

I slid out of the warm bed and went to the shower across the hall to our room. I stood at the door for a while watching Bobby asleep on the four poster oak bed in the centre of the room, spread with lilac sheets,surrounded by complementary ikea furniture and scented candles. He was definitely a sexy man. He lay there peacefully with not a worry or care on his face. His caramel skin blossomed at me with a radiance that only he could carry off sleeping. But that’s what the girls loved, and he knew this, he did not have to try, he was a charmer without even exploiting anything.

I eased myself into the electric shower and adjusted the water to get hot enough to steam the room. I reached over and grabbed my scrunchy, lathering the shower gel into it, forming subs which I strategically washed into my skin letting the sweet smell of jasmine and lavender eliminate my stresses. The touch of the water on my soft skin, made my thoughts get the better of me and I started thinking about the first time Bobby and I made love. A time when there were no other cares in the world, when I was oblivious to all the drama and the girls. I was the only thing which mattered that night, and he made me feel so special, I thought I was on cloud nine for weeks. He had me dancing with stars. It was definitely a ‘waiting to exhale’ moment, and damn I had exhaled at least eight times that night! He made my toes curl and my heart flutter; I think that was the moment he got me, the moment, which has now led to this.

I turned off the shower and stepped out, grabbing my lilac towel then drying my skin delicately before creaming myself with rich coco butter lying on the over congested window ledge. I picked up my makeup bag from the cabinet, and carefully put on my mascara and blue eye pencil in the partly steamed mirror. Bobby loved this shade on me, and I wanted him to see exactly what he stood up last night. Although I was going to work, I wanted to make an effort just to slap it in his face once more.
As I exited the bathroom I heard his gruff voice begin to talk…
“Babes, I’m sorry bout last night. I had to go and do something bout the madness. You understand don’t you?”
As he started talking I shot him one look, walking over to the wardrobe selecting the clothes I was going to wear. I answered him angered at his choice of words.
“Bobby, you know what. It doesn’t matter what I think anymore. All I can see is you not sticking to your end of the agreement, we have been back together for a few months and you’re already letting them bitches interfere with our relationship again. Look if you don’t want this to work, then please say because I don’t really want to be wasting my time again, thinking shit will change!”
He sat up indirectly aggravated at the potential argument. “Keish, I love you so much, and I know you’re fed up with me. I promise it won’t happen again…”
“Don’t promise me anything please, because it doesn’t mean a thing! It’s just a lie, because you cannot keep to your promises”
“Babes don’t be like that, I’m trying”
“You’re not trying hard enough” I shouted, slamming the wardrobe door. “You left me here all alone again! Last night was supposed to be OUR night, no one else, but ours and you left me. You left me and ran to the defence of her, putting our relationship in jeopardy for her once again. Do you even care how it makes me feel? No you don’t, I’m telling you, you need to do something about it, you need to decide what you want. I am not going to let her be the third wheel in our relationship anymore, so you decide Bobby!”
“What? Woman, what are you going on about, you’re carrying on like I’m having an affair with her! I’m not, she is just my friend, but if you don’t want me to talk to her again, then fine, because I love you and I will do anything I can to save this relationship”
“Well, let’s start with you locking her off. There should be no need for you to contact her anymore should there? She is just going to end up getting you killed!”
“Don’t be so dramatic babe. Look I sorted out the madness yesterday, well calmed it down. Riddler said he is going to give her two weeks to repay his money”
“Why, what has she done this time that it will take two weeks for her to make payment, and don’t even think about giving her any money!” I said with a stern look on my face, because I knew he is a sucker and will do just that. I continued to get dressed angrily.
“Don’t be silly babes. Basically she is going to have to sell her car. She sort of run this drug scam behind his back and it went pear shape, its all stupid to be honest”
“Yeah, and that’s the sort of people you like to hang around with!”
“Look babes, let’s just forget it. Let me make up last night to you!”
He had this horny look on his face, and I knew just what he was thinking, but hell no! After he left me home alone last night, he is not getting any for a few days!
“Are you serious, because I think you’re a comedian right now, you better put on one of your DVDs and exercise your right hand, because I’m going to work!”
“Babes, don’t mess about, you can’t leave me like this!”
He took the covers off his body and exposed his full erection. It was tempting, but right now I needed to stick to my words, how dare he choose her over me!
“Babe, lie there and reflect on the sexy black and red lingerie set, with my stockings and black stilettos, which I was going to wear for you LAST NIGHT!”

It made me feel good leaving him lying in the bed like a confused child, but I cannot let him get away with this right now, he took the blatant piss. I turned around and walked out of the room without giving in to the temptation that was tearing between my legs. I could hear Bobby sighing in the bedroom and pleading with me to come back to bed. I wanted him to suffer so I quickly grabbed an apple and muesli bar from the kitchen and left the house without saying goodbye just to show him how angry I was with him. Normally no matter what, we never left the house without giving each other a kiss, but today was different, he had broken his promise already, and for that two faced bitch.
Allowing myself to think about Shanny and Bobby together last night, made my blood boil so I decided to take a slow walk down to the train station. I needed to calm myself down and ponder on my thoughts for a while.

As I walked at a brisk pace, I reflected on the past ineffectual men that I had been with before Bobby. Now there was Omar, he was so fine, intelligent, ambitious, romantic and had money. Only thing was that he had too many bad relationships which haunted him like a reoccurring dream. I mean he would have been perfect if he was not so conceited. Some men just feel that they have to constantly be the alpha male and remind people at every opportunity. He would continuously go on about how much in bonuses he would be getting at work, and how he could buy anything he wanted. The thing which got to me the most was his constant reminders of the things which he bought for his ex’s. Now what kind of man actually keeps a full account of everything they have ever bought a girlfriend! Well he bloody did, and that used to really annoy me, it’s like he was doing it for recognition, not from the kindness of his heart. He bought me a diamond bracelet once, and he never let me live that one down. Even when we broke up he tried to ask for it back, now how pathetic was that!
Then there was Simon; I should have known he would have been trouble, because he had off-key features from the start. This man would phone me up all hours of the night asking me where I was, and what I was doing. He would offer to pick me up from work, and follow me everywhere I went. I'm sure he was borderline obsessively disturbed, because all this happened in the first month of us dating!
Now Lionel, he was the bum! The sexy ass no good man, that we all come across one point in our life. He was so good in bed and adventurous. Hell, we did it almost everywhere, outside in the park, the car, the lift, in the rave, the swimming pool, kitchen table and even on the train. We had some good times, but wherever we went I was footing the bill. He was on job seekers allowance and a part time fraudster, who I must admit was not very good at his criminal trade. He spent most of his day smoking weed, and driving about with his brother. Although the sex was great, it became tedious carrying him, and I thought about the things he would teach our kids, and it was not a good look at all!
There was also Teddy, yes the fat lover. He was not that big, but squishy like a bear- soft and cuddly. What went wrong with him? He had a good job, good to converse with but he had five children for four different women, and he lived at home with his mother!
Oh yeah, not to forget Matty, sweet but to soft. Come on everyone needs a man that can defend them, and Matty was just too nice for his own good. I could walk all over him without even trying. No one wants a man that they can fully control, one who doesn’t put up any resistance. So you know he had to go!
I briefly recollected on the many others, but they were not even worth thinking about. I mean you have your first date and you think that they are the best thing ever. They tell you everything you want to hear, like they have a script for men on how to trap women like a spider laying its web. You fall for all the sweet talk, and the serenading. Then they go for the kill, and then two/ three months later you find out that the person you have just given yourself to is a fraud, a fake, you have been bamboozled and by then it is too late. You either bail out and add another failed relationship to your list of annulled encounters, or you press on and stick with rubbish, which you do not really want but are afraid to move onto another relationship due to fear of being labelled as a ‘hoe’.
Well for me, I don’t actually care. If it doesn’t work out, I move on. I don’t waste anytime waiting anymore. Yeah maybe I am a fool for the charmers, and I try their goods too quick. But who determines too quick? I mean how long does a woman have to wait to find out that the man is no good, and you’re totally incompatible! Please, I would rather find out sooner than later!
But, things with Bobby has been a entire turn around for me, I mean I have had to do a total 360 on the situation, I went back and I decided to try again! But Bobby is taking too long to adjust, to long to change and I’m searching, I am an impatient person, I want mine now. It is about time for me to be happy, I’m fed up of watching these bitches take all the good men and be happy. I'm a good woman, when is it going to be my turn?
Yeah, I am sort of cheating at the moment, but it is something, which developed when Bobby decided that he wanted to chase those useless girls, and be a bachelor like his cousin. That’s when I met Clayton, so in theory I’m not actually doing anything wrong. Me and Bobby getting back together just happened so quick, like watching a cheetah in the African Jungle chase its prey. Before I could blink we were talking about moving in together. I just didn’t have time or the heart to tell Clayton it was over, I mean he comes in handy sometimes. And it is always good to have a plan B!