“Thanks for the lovely flowers, you really didn’t have to”
“So when you going to let me take you out, princess?”
I held the phone, rolling my eyes as he spoke. I could not believe this man was hounding me like this. He would not take no for an answer! Does he think that he can send me flowers and I will jump to his every demand!
Brian was a nice person to talk to, we were able to discuss everything from music to politics. Only problem was that he was not a very good looking man. No actually I won’t say that, but he was not ‘my’ type. He wanted to be with me, and he wanted to be with me bad. When we had conversations he would always mention his desire to have children, and how he would be a good father, and step father to my daughter. Wow, now that kind of talk freaked me out, he was going too far! He just would not take the subtle let downs to show him that I was not interested. Just because I have one child already he thought that maybe I was some kind of baby making machine, that I should be happy to roll over and have another one! Well I had some news for him; Not only am I not interested in him, I am not interested in having any more children for now either. I mean I'm just getting my body back, and it has not been easy.
Dating was kind of hard for me, because I haven’t really been with anyone since my trauma with Reese. He really traumatised me for life! I can’t trust another man, well I find it very hard to trust any man. I gave my everything to Reese, and he just took my heart, chewed it up, spat on it and then stepped all over it again! I don’t really want any man at the moment anyway! I'm fine by myself. I’ve got Asia to concentrate on.
My friends don’t understand my philosophy to survival without a man. Don’t get me wrong I have urges, I’m only human. But I haven’t slept with anyone in the past year! I’ve been utilising the platinum rabbit that Keshia bought me for my birthday.
I was seeing this guy briefly; Ricky who worked on the floor above me. He was 5’6, caramel complexion and funny. We got along well, and would meet up frequently for lunch. After a few months we started seeing each other. I wasn’t really interested in anything long term, so we had an ‘understanding’ where I would go around his house for a ‘fix’ when I needed it, and we were free to date other people. It only lasted about four months, which was because he met somebody else, somebody who wanted more. I wasn’t upset about it, because at that time I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship, where I left myself open to be hurt. So good luck to him! I still talk to him now, and he is happy. He’s engaged and living in Slough with his woman. His relationship is all a big lie if you ask me, because he is still phoning me asking to come round, and I know what he meant by ‘come round’. He wanted to come and ravish my body, make me hot and wet. It was tempting sometimes as he was able to fix my needs, but I always reminded him of his current relationship status. How dare he! How can he be putting such things on me, knowing that he has a fiancée who he shares a bed with every night! That is exactly one of the reasons why I am not in any hurry to be in a relationship. Your man could come home every night, but still be playing out there. Living together does not mean anything; there is no guarantee to a monogamous relationship anymore. Men are all the same!
I glimpsed in the mirror as I continued to moisturize the cream into my silky skin, making sure that every spot was covered. Tonight I was going on a date with Lucas. He was this guy who I met while I was shopping at Tesco last month. I could feel him staring at me as I walked through the isles, then eventually we ended up in the same queue. When I turned and looked at him he plucked up the courage to ask me my name, trying to be discrete. I did not want to tell him, but I didn’t want to embarrass him or myself in the busy supermarket that afternoon, and I must admit he initially came across smooth so I told him. A short conversation pursued whist the middle aged Asian shop assistant rang up my items and I paid. As I continued to pack my shopping, he felt more confident and bold and asked me for my number. At first I pretended like I didn’t hear him, then he stepped closer and repeated it. I had to kindly let him down, which did not deter him as he offered me his business card.
I had kept the card with his number in my bag for two weeks. But after I mentioned it to the girls, they insisted that I called him and now here I am, about to embark on our first date. I don’t even know why I am actually bothering. He did appear to be a nice guy thou. He had gone out of his way in every conversation to try and prove to me that he was not one of those useless guys, telling me that he was currently trying to set up his own business. I don’t know what in because I haven’t really taken too much interest and his business card only provided his name and number. I’m only going out with him because Keshia and Janet keep on telling me that I need to get out more, how I need to give men a chance. But to be honest it is a waste of time. They are all just full of shit! They spit a load of lyrics which is in a manual or something and then get what they want and disappear back to their woman at home waiting!
I stopped and thought about the situation, having spoken to Lucas on the phone over the past few weeks he seemed to be nice, polite, ambitious, comical and sweet. But that’s how they trap you! You fall for them before you get to know the ‘real’ them. The man underneath all the persona, only to find out that he is a fake! Everything was a lie! But this time I am going to try, I'm not going to take my old baggage on my new journey. I’m going to give Lucas a chance to prove me wrong. To prove that not all men are the same. They are not all lying, scandaless, cheating, deceiving dogs, but there are the very small percentage that are honest, trustworthy, dedicated, and loving. I'm yet to be convinced!
I had driven the short journey through the traffic to drop Asia to my mothers earlier. I couldn’t let Reese look after her, because that would have just been too much headache. He would of asked me a series of questions; not that I have to answer to him or hide anything from him, but I just did not want him snooping around for the next few weeks trying to see who the mystery man is, so I felt it was best to drop her to mums. She could keep her company for the night, and mum was always happy to have her grand-daughter around, keeping her entertained.
As the time passed on I stood in my mirror ensuring that my dress was hugging in all the right places. Tonight I was wearing the hell out of my black low cut dress, which rested just below my knees. I looked through my messy jewellery box and decided to dress it up with some gold accessories. As I untangled my chain, I spotted the Channel earrings which Reese had bought me one Valentines Day. Remembering the time I closed my eyes and smiled, deciding that they would be perfect for tonight. I stretched my arms under my bed and found the shoe box for my gold strappy shoes. I retouched my hair, which I had let down, as I normally wore my black and blonde twists up in a pony. This style gave me a wild mysterious look, which complimented my minimal make-up. I wasn’t really into making an effort anymore, but I still wanted to be desirable, I wanted to let the men know out there what they were actually missing with all their ‘player’ antics.
It was now seven thirty, and the night was getting a little chilly. Lucas was due any minute; I quickly sprayed myself with Channel- Chance perfume and waited patiently downstairs.
Ten minutes later there was a knock at my door and I went to answer it. I exposed Lucas who was standing there looking simple but smart, wearing a blue V- neck jumper with some black jeans. Okay, I thought, not bad, but he could have made more of an effort. This must be the subtle look which he was trying to pull off, the look which said ‘I’m laid back and don’t really put a lot of effort into women, because I get them a dime a dozen!’ Look at me analysing his appearance, that one year course in Psychology is to blame. I stood back and watched him admire me, commenting that I looked beautiful, like a fallen angel. This looks like it is going to be a long night!
When I stepped outside my eyes eagerly looked for the car he was driving; a black Audi TT, with a private plate which read SP33DY. Well that says a lot about him! I just know he does not think that he is going to get an easy ride with me! He looked like a typical undercover sweet boy. I wonder how many women he is actually sleeping with at the moment, thinking that it is okay, because they are not ‘exclusive’, that he has not told any of them that they are ‘together’! Well I am not going to be an addition to the countless hopeless women who he has fooled!
He drove at pace to Fulham Broadway, the smooth twin turbo engine growling ferociously. Now I was definitely convinced he was a ‘ladies man’, his vehicle really said it all and the slow jams which he played the whole journey was defiantly the give away.
Eventually we arrived, finding a place to park we walked close together towards the Pink Hummingbird restaurant. He had booked us a lovely table, which had full view of the exotic fishes swimming in the huge fish tank positioned in the wall as a partition.
We sat down and the waiter handed us our menus. I thanked him and opened up the interesting gold menu. My stomach was quietly growling, I just hope that their food tastes as good as the restaurant looks.
“So tell me more about yourself Leyah. All I know about you is that you’re a very beautiful woman, and I don’t understand why someone has not scooped you up already. What’s your flaw then?”
“My flaw, why has it always got to be the woman’s fault! Why do we have to be the ones with the flaws!” I answered slightly irritated as I peered over my menu.
“Okay. Well tell me why you’re still single. Not that it’s a bad thing, it is actually a good thing, especially for me!”
“Well… No I don’t have any flaws for your information! And I’m single because there is a lack of decent men out there. And I have not met anyone worthy to be with me as yet”
“Oh wow, so you are telling me that I am not a decent man then?”
“No, I’m not saying that. I hardly know you. But I have not met any as yet. Well any that are single anyway!”
He stretched out his hand for me to shake. “Well hello Leyah, nice to meet you I’m Mr Decent Single Man!”
We both laughed. He had a habit of constantly looking directly into my eyes when he spoke, trying desperately to seduce me with his words. But I was not falling for his charm, I was immune.
We fell into a debate while we ate, about what constitutes a ‘decent man’ and a dispute followed as I tried to get my point across. I must admit he was funny. He made a joke about all the flaws, which I brought up in men, and found an excuse for almost every trick a man uses in the beginning to hide the fact that they are in a relationship. I don’t know what it was but he kind of intrigued me, but in contradiction to that his responses where making warning lights go off in my head. How could someone understand and interpret such behaviour and make it appear to be alright, that their actions are justified yet not practice that behaviour themselves? He must be like the rest of them!
We finished up our meal, which I thoroughly enjoyed as it definitely lived up to expectations. I looked around admiring the happy diners, as Lucas paid the bill. Soon after we left and strolled back to his car discussing the things which we found irritating in the opposite sex, laughing at some of the things we brought up; such as un-manicured feet, dirty fingernails, body odour and hairy armpits. I observed that he had a thing about women being ‘well kept’. His ideal for a woman was for her to spend her weekend getting beautiful for her man, making sure that her hair and nails were immaculate. That was definitely not me!
The night was warm and still as we almost neared his car, which was now three cars ahead. Just as this old white lady walked past us with her walking stick, Lucas turned and told me that he had a surprise for me. As I queried what it was, still questioning in my head why that old lady was out this time of night on her own. He hushed my thoughts, telling me that he was going to take me there now. I was a bit sceptical about going with him, he was taking me somewhere which could be in the middle of no where and could possible do anything to me! But my instincts said, ‘what the heck’. Plus I had carried my can of mace in my handbag, which was provided by my self-defence class I attended a few months back.
As he drove through the dark streets, I discreetly looked at him, looking at his every imperfection and trying to analyse him. Lucas was a good-looking man, fair skin which I figured may be the result of his part Hispanic genes he talked about. He was about 5’6, he could have done with being a lot taller, but he had the personality which made up for it. He wasn’t really my type, but what was? Reese?!
After driving at speed for twenty five minutes we arrived the destination somewhere in Greenwich. He parked up near some newly built apartments over looking the river, in visual proximity of the O2 arena. I looked on taking in the amazing view. I hope he was not taking me to his house, or a hotel, because I certainly do not get down on the first date!
I rolled my eyes as he got out and opened the heavy door for me, telling me that he wanted to take me somewhere beautiful to show me just how beautiful I was in comparison. I tried to hide my response as I blushed at his cheesy line. Catching me by surprise he slipped his hands into mine, and led me down the pathway along the riverbank. I didn’t pull away as I thought to myself, ‘its not going to hurt, just enjoy the night!’ Listening to my conscience I let him hold my palm, as we strolled hand in hand admiring the lovely view of the moon reflecting on the water and the stars gleaming in the dark. It had been a long time since I had actually admired the stars. The weather was perfect, only a small summer breeze blew on the still waters and a few midnight clouds dressed the sky. I couldn’t believe that I was actually enjoying myself. I was out here on a date, doing something different.
We strolled for about an hour, not worrying about the time. Just walking and enjoying each other’s company, while he made me laugh.
Okay, so maybe I was wrong about the majority of men, but I could not let this one night change my whole perspective and opinion of men. It was only our first date, and this type of behaviour was expected.
We neared the car, and Lucas stopped and pulled my hand to turn me around to face him.
“Leyah, thank you for such a wonderful night. You’re a really interesting woman, and I like that”
“You’re not too bad yourself” I replied, conscious of the awkward situation arising.
“Well I hope we can do this again sometime, maybe I can take you to another one of my favourite spots. There’s this really nice restaurant on a boat in Docklands, that you would love”
“Sounds nice”
I know he better not be expecting a kiss! I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he wanted to make a move, slowly edging himself closer. So before he could attempt to lean forward and lock with my lips, I reached out my hand and opened the car door hastily getting inside, while he stood for a few seconds in disbelief at how he lost the power in the situation.
While he was driving me back home, he had this grin on his face, which made me feel like he felt he had achieved something here tonight. Like he had broken down my defences. But I knew the games men play all to well.
He turned into my street and smoothly parked into a nearby space outside my house, careful not to scratch his 20inch alloys. We both looked out the slightly tinted windows and watched a drunken man stagger down the road almost walking into a set of bins along his way.
“So Leyah. You want to do this again next Saturday?” He questioned, turning down the mellow sounds of D’Angelo playing on the car stereo.
“I don’t think I can. I believe I’ve got something on next week”
“Oh okay, well what about Friday?”
“No, Fridays not a good day for me either. But I will phone you and let you know”
“Okay. Make sure you do. I will be waiting for your call. Look after yourself beautiful”
Now even though I am not doing anything next weekend, I can’t let him know this. I have to act less available, let him stew for a while. Keep him wanting more. Then I will see how interested he actually is. If you’re too available the man knows that he can get you locked in a minute, because you have no other potentials and a lot of free time on your hands which he can fill and then when it is time for him to move on, you’re left depressed and lonely trying to forget all the memories you built together. No way, not me! I have already made that mistake in my life and I am not about to do it again!
I was about to open the car door to exit, when I turned and thanked him for the lovely evening and descended. As I put one foot out he looked at me as if I was doing something wrong, like he expected more. I kindly ignored his look and got out the car, taking my keys out my bag as I started walking up the path and to my front door. I turned around and gave him a quick wave as I reached my doorstep and unlocked the lock. I shut the door behind me, looking through the peephole I noticed that Lucas was still outside. I know he could have never been waiting for me to invite him in for a ‘cup of coffee’. Please! Why do men think that they can expect to come in after taking a lady out, like we are supposed to owe them something! Show them gratitude for the evening! Oh please! I'm fed up of men thinking this. I don’t owe him anything, and he surely was not coming into my abode after one date!
He finally drove away, roaring his engine down the street. I turned and sluggishly walked towards my bedroom to undress and get ready for my bed. It was only ten past midnight, but I was feeling tired. I must admit, I had a nice night. Maybe, just maybe I will give him a call next week.
