Chapter Twelve- Keshia

My eyes were glued in amazement. I slowly licked my glossed lips while taking in everything about him. He was about 6’2, dark toned with small well kept locks. This man had it all. He was dressed in a kaki short sleeved top emphasising his well toned torso, with matching combats clinging onto his big manly thighs sitting directly in my visual proximity, on the highlighted stage by the staircase, playing his guitar with his sexy manly fingers. The whole audience was captured by his sweet sensual sound. It was like the sound of a sweet humming bird coming from the tropical breeze. It was totally phenomenal; it was sensual, the notes he played rushed through my body like a burning pulse. I looked on mesmerised, stuck in a trance. How did he make it feel so real? He appeared not to be making any effort at all as his lips sang the passionate words of lust.
I blinked out of my thoughts. I had made up my mind, as soon as he finishes his set, I’m going to have to say something to him, tell him how his music made me feel!

Janet, Leyah and myself had one of the best tables in the house. We had waited six weeks to reserve a table here at the Velvet Café, this was the place to be at the moment, it was the place for raw, sensational unsigned talent. You would see an array of people performing from poets to comedians in the warm welcoming atmosphere. There venue was decorated with huge dark violet velvet drapes with and scarlet candles complementing the large round tables which were plotted carefully on the main floor opening up the small stage at the front. I looked around and admired the large portraits of various abstracts and city landscapes. The Velvet Café served the most delicious colourful cocktails all presented with perfection, what made it even more unique was the exotic food menu offering a vast selection of meals while you enjoyed the show.
We all looked stunning tonight, wearing various simple but snazzy outfits. Making a statement that we were not desperate for a man to come and take care of us, but could handle our own. It was ladies night out for us, a time to catch up on gossip and give out advice that we would not actually follow ourselves, but it was all part of being a good friend. The night also gave rise to scouting the eye candy, seeking the singles, which were still out on the shelf. I mean we were all practically single. Well apart from myself, but I still had to hook up a plan B. An alternative. I had to line up a friend in waiting because with Bobby most times nothing he says is long lived.

The dimly lit venue was filled with an enormous encore, as the sexy musician finished his set. From the amount of applause he received, you could tell the crowd loved him even the men had to show their appreciation. As he stepped of the stage and into the arms of one of the organisers he was replaced with a less entertaining blonde female hippy looking singer, wearing a pleasantly gorgeous gipsy dress. My eyes desperately tried to follow where the sexy musician was headed as he walked off threw the tables, but the girls constantly interrupted my quest debating the problems with men, and the recent long list of admirers in Leyah’s life, which she ignored. I gave up and turned my concentration back to the conversation, making a mental note to take a trip to the ladies in ten minutes to find the musician.

We sat and enjoyed the sounds of a poet, strongly expressing the lyrics about Love and Pain, feeling every word he spoke intensely as he moved with the words. I looked around the overcrowded room, squinting my eyes through the dark, but there was no sign on the sexy musician.
Finally our platter of spicy Caribbean chicken dippers, and brandy soaked king prawns had arrived, delivered by the exhausted glamour puss waitress when I glimpsed the sexy musician walking through the nearby crowd. My natural instincts jumped out of me as we locked eyes, and I signalled him to come over to our table. I quickly reassessed my posture, trying to look casual and not desperate, whilst ensuring that my best assets were on full display. He looked over indecisively and then decided against ignoring my rudeness and began walking our way…
“Hi, do I know you?” He said exposing his sexy and powerful voice.
“No. Sorry” I said with a little embarrassment in my tone. “I just wanted to tell you that you were fantastic up there tonight, it was impressive. My name is Keshia and you are?”
“I’m Kamarni. Nice to meet you Keshia”
He took hold of my sweaty palm and gently gave it a shake, whilst I tried to linger onto his touch. Here I am talking with the sexy musician, and I’m flirting with him big time, fluttering my heavily mascara eyelashes confidently, picturing that tall torso wrapped around my body. I slowly let go of his hand, fighting back the hot flush that raced though my body remembering that we were not alone.
“Girls meet the star behind the soulful music, which stole my heart” I said with a slight emphasis in my tone, looking dead in his eyes.
“Wow your music was so beautiful”
“Where did you learn to play like that?”
“How long have you been playing?”
“Do you write your own music?”
He laughed. Yes we were all up in his grill. We managed to capture him before all the other hungry women in the club went for the sting. Every single woman in the room was checking out his every asset. Looking for the ring… and ‘yes’ the finger was bare.
Kamarni joined us at our table as I made room for him on the velvet booth, right next to me. His leg accidentally touched mine as he eased his body in. Exhale. We all sat speaking about his music, captured by his every word, listening attentively as he answered our Spanish inquisition. He was so fascinating and not to mention sexy. He spoke so many powerful things in the short time we experienced his presence, showing that he was passionate about his heritage and his love of music. The conversation was inspiring and uplifting for me. He had the ability to recite the appropriate quote to capture the moment, and add his own signature to it. His frame alone was enough to make your body shudder like you had just experienced the biggest organism ever. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to be consumed in this mans life.

“Well ladies, it was nice speaking to you all, but I have to go. You all enjoy the rest of your night and remember to stay blessed…”
That was it, the moment we shared was over, and he was rising to get up without even leaving a contact number.
“…See you around, sometime” He said with a seductive tone, looking directly at me as the words floated from his defined smooth lips. I could see the seduction in his eyes, through his words. In response I bit my lip seductively and gave him a look, which he knew said ‘I sure hope so’. And with that he left, walking through the crowd stopping to talk to the grungy Justin Timberlake lookalike.
“Oh my gosh, snap out of it. You don’t have to look so desperate Kesh” Leyah said with a sniggering tone snapping her long unpolished fingers at me, waking me out of my mesmerised state.
“Yeah, you are one horny lady. And you’re the one with the full time, resident man! Look at us two, we haven’t got anything and you got everything. We got dicks in jars…”
“Ummm hum, and batteries on standby” Leyah added.
“… And there you are being all greedy. Taking all the men, not leaving anything for us. Cor, you undressed him with your eyes a thousand times and exhaled so many times I lost count!”
We all laughed. It was true. I was not satisfied at home, or maybe in life. I was always subconsciously searching. Searching for something better, someone with more to offer, more love to give. I wasn’t even sure that if I found that man, I would be satisfied, but right now all I knew was that I was seeking Kamarni!
“Look Janet, you can talk. Come on, Marcus is back in town and he is the finest brotha EVER, and you just let him slip out your hands again and again!” I preached. “He is one fine chocolate brotha and you need to go and grab your man. Heck I’m jealous I didn’t meet him first, and here you are playing with him!”
“Yep, Kesh has got a point there Jay!” Leyah said in agreement.
Janet immediately rose to her defence. “Look, it just isn’t that simple”
“What! Look if you don’t take risks in life, where would we all be?… In this small safety bubble, scared of making a mistake. Well life is about making mistakes, falling over and getting up and trying again. Stop taking the safer option, it is not always the right one. You will regret it when your old and grey, pondering on what if’s!”
Listen to me, the big relationship philosopher. I had this habit of dishing out good advice for others but not for myself. But I’m a risk taker, I don’t waste time. I react to the moments, not leave them in the air. You haven’t lived until you have taken numerous risks.
“Marcus already has a woman! And anyway any possibility of us being an item is out the window because he told me some shocking news the other night when we went out for a drink”
“Oh my gosh! What was it? He’s not gay is he?” Leyah joked.
We all laughed, but I could tell that this moment of laughter was overcome by a sense of sadness in Janet’s heart. Her eyes always told the truth, and the truth was something she did not want it to be.
“Girls” She took a deep sigh. “… Marcus is engaged, and to top that he is also expecting a baby!”
We both gasped in disbelief. My mind quickly comprehending what she just disclosed.
“What! I can’t believe it. Marcus, getting married! How? When? Why? and with who?” The shocked words rolled from my mouth. I knew it was bad news but I would have never guessed it was as devastating as this. And here I was earlier all self consumed with the sexy musician.
“You know that bloody woman, I told you about that he was flexing with!”
“Oh, not the Personal assistant?” I said scornfully, turning up my nose hoping it was not her.
“Yeah, her! Well she has trapped him, she’s pregnant, and now he feels obliged to marry her. I just can’t believe my Marcus is marrying her. I mean she is such a chicken head. She has nothing but her looks. Marcus has told me things about her from the start. He would have never made her his wife on his own accord. Not to say he isn’t a good guy, because he is…. I know she just wanted to trap him… how could he let himself get trapped like this…” She buried her hands in her head, forcing the tears not to ruin her mascara.
Janet, was really upset despite her breaking down she was talking one hundred miles per hour.
“Look Jay don’t worry about it, it won’t last, he does not love her. I'm sure even she knows that” Leyah said trying to sound comforting while I pulled out a Kleenex from my bag.
“Babes, that woman is dread. Marcus is your man! It’s supposed to be you and him. How did this happen?... Don’t worry about it. Let me get another round of drinks, we need it”

We continued to talk for the next two hours while getting through three more cocktail jugs, trying to comfort Janet. This was bad news! Marcus was one of the most eligible bachelors we knew. Him and Janet were perfect for each other. Since we were in College they had this weird relationship, they were always close. I remember, they looked so sweet together, they complimented each other fluently. Because of their chemistry all the girls in college used to hate Janetand Marcus was such a hansom, lovable guy. If only Janet didn’t take so long to confront her feelings she had towards him, then this would not have happened. He was one of the most perfect men ever; he made me believe that there are actually some good men out in the world.

The bar was still lively when I looked down at my watch noticing the time which had gone so quick. It was now after two o’clock. I enlightened the girls with the time, and we up deciding it was time to make our way home to our separate destinations. I watched the remainder of the crowd sip on their alcoholic beverages, and my mind drifted towards all the happy couples that were in the bar, holding hands, whispering sweet words in their woman’s ears, and touching their partner delicately but enough to declare that they loved them. Love was a beautiful thing, but one feeling which did not knock on our doors very often. We just happened to be the three unluckiest beautiful and successful women on this side of town, who I must add seemed to attract the most useless, un-committing men. When was it going to be one of our turns to be happy, to be the ones getting proposed to by a ‘decent’ man, and have that overwhelming feeling that we have met the one and had decided to build a life together! The thoughts drifted through my mind, until I hastily snapped out of it as I felt Leyah hand me my Red Dior handbag.

We strolled slowly out of the venue and into the chilly deserted streets of Notting Hill, and hailed a taxi as it drove down the road looking for customers leaving the small wine bars and cocktail lounges. The driver needed to make three stops to drop each of us home, we were all too intoxicated to even attempt to drive. The alcohol was acting as a temporary amnesia drug, to help us forget about all the worries in our lives, all the things that we did not want to think about at this present time.
The taxi ride took us over Battersea Bridge, to the first drop off for Leyah in Streatham, then the short journey towards Thornton Heath to drop Janet off. As we pulled up to her house I could see the sadness in her face, the fact that she had to walk into an empty house. I remember that feeling, the notion of being alone, no one to tip toe into the house for in case you woke them up, no one to slip gently into the bed like a feather for just in case you disturbed their tender dreams. It was not a nice feeling, how I don’t miss it at all. But I understood how she was feeling, and to make it worst she was more than likely thinking about Marcus tucked up all snugly with that cow, holding her tightly in his strong muscular arms. I know those thoughts can hurt you like a knife wound to the back, but us women just cant stop thinking about such hurtful things, wishing that it wasn’t so, wishing that we were the ones being held at that moment.
Janet, slowly rose out the taxi, and we exchanged a brief goodbye, as I ordered her to rest her head, telling her that I will call her tomorrow. She murmured the same, before hurriedly walking towards her house, with her keys ready to push through the door. A chilly wind was blowing and the scattered leaves on the streets were dancing a circular motion as if they were reciting a short performance.
After watching Janet disappear into her house safely, the taxi drove off towards my destination through the quite deserted streets of South London. I sat there in the back of the cab thinking about going home, thinking about how I actually felt about Bobby, how I felt about the relationship. Did I actually love him, or was I afraid to be alone! I must love him to put up with all this drama, but in contrast if I did I wouldn’t be flirting all the time with other men. I would be satisfied with him and him alone. But I’m not, I need more, but I’m not sure if I need it from him!

We arrived to my flat, and I paid the taxi driver the fare, which had totalled £54. I took my keys out of my bag as I closed the taxi door, allowing the driver to search for his next customer. The sound of my heels echoed on the pavement as I walked towards the communal door. As I arrived the wind blew across my face and made me shudder quickly, forcing me to take shelter. As I quickly shut the door behind me I climbed the stairs to my second floor flat, thinking about Kamarni and how he made me feel, briefly reliving the moment I stared in his eyes as he was playing and the gentle touch of his aloe vera hands, watching them move seductively over the strings, and his head move in rhythm to the sounds. I opened my eyes forcing myself to gather my thoughts together and get in this house. I quickly looked at my watch, it was now 3:45, I wonder if Bobby is even at home. Knowing him, he is out with his ‘boys’, oh well at least I don’t have to worry about being quiet, not that he does when he comes in late. I pushed the key into the door. Well here goes it…