Chapter Ten- Keshia

I woke up from my slumber, feeling no guilt at all. Untangling myself from the duvet I turned around and noticed that Bobby was fast asleep as usual after creeping back into the house about five in the morning. Unfortunate for him I was awoken by the sounds of the key unlocking the door. Why do it put up with this shit! It’s not like I can’t get anyone better! I’m sure I could get a whole lot better than him, but I love him and we should try.
I mean I shouldn’t give up too easy.
I should give it a chance.
I’ve been too hasty in the past, to quick to move on, so I’m going to work at this one, but how can I work alone? A relationship takes two and Bobby needs to start playing his part in this.

I slid out of the warm bed and went to the shower across the hall to our room. I stood at the door for a while watching Bobby asleep on the four poster oak bed in the centre of the room, spread with lilac sheets,surrounded by complementary ikea furniture and scented candles. He was definitely a sexy man. He lay there peacefully with not a worry or care on his face. His caramel skin blossomed at me with a radiance that only he could carry off sleeping. But that’s what the girls loved, and he knew this, he did not have to try, he was a charmer without even exploiting anything.

I eased myself into the electric shower and adjusted the water to get hot enough to steam the room. I reached over and grabbed my scrunchy, lathering the shower gel into it, forming subs which I strategically washed into my skin letting the sweet smell of jasmine and lavender eliminate my stresses. The touch of the water on my soft skin, made my thoughts get the better of me and I started thinking about the first time Bobby and I made love. A time when there were no other cares in the world, when I was oblivious to all the drama and the girls. I was the only thing which mattered that night, and he made me feel so special, I thought I was on cloud nine for weeks. He had me dancing with stars. It was definitely a ‘waiting to exhale’ moment, and damn I had exhaled at least eight times that night! He made my toes curl and my heart flutter; I think that was the moment he got me, the moment, which has now led to this.

I turned off the shower and stepped out, grabbing my lilac towel then drying my skin delicately before creaming myself with rich coco butter lying on the over congested window ledge. I picked up my makeup bag from the cabinet, and carefully put on my mascara and blue eye pencil in the partly steamed mirror. Bobby loved this shade on me, and I wanted him to see exactly what he stood up last night. Although I was going to work, I wanted to make an effort just to slap it in his face once more.
As I exited the bathroom I heard his gruff voice begin to talk…
“Babes, I’m sorry bout last night. I had to go and do something bout the madness. You understand don’t you?”
As he started talking I shot him one look, walking over to the wardrobe selecting the clothes I was going to wear. I answered him angered at his choice of words.
“Bobby, you know what. It doesn’t matter what I think anymore. All I can see is you not sticking to your end of the agreement, we have been back together for a few months and you’re already letting them bitches interfere with our relationship again. Look if you don’t want this to work, then please say because I don’t really want to be wasting my time again, thinking shit will change!”
He sat up indirectly aggravated at the potential argument. “Keish, I love you so much, and I know you’re fed up with me. I promise it won’t happen again…”
“Don’t promise me anything please, because it doesn’t mean a thing! It’s just a lie, because you cannot keep to your promises”
“Babes don’t be like that, I’m trying”
“You’re not trying hard enough” I shouted, slamming the wardrobe door. “You left me here all alone again! Last night was supposed to be OUR night, no one else, but ours and you left me. You left me and ran to the defence of her, putting our relationship in jeopardy for her once again. Do you even care how it makes me feel? No you don’t, I’m telling you, you need to do something about it, you need to decide what you want. I am not going to let her be the third wheel in our relationship anymore, so you decide Bobby!”
“What? Woman, what are you going on about, you’re carrying on like I’m having an affair with her! I’m not, she is just my friend, but if you don’t want me to talk to her again, then fine, because I love you and I will do anything I can to save this relationship”
“Well, let’s start with you locking her off. There should be no need for you to contact her anymore should there? She is just going to end up getting you killed!”
“Don’t be so dramatic babe. Look I sorted out the madness yesterday, well calmed it down. Riddler said he is going to give her two weeks to repay his money”
“Why, what has she done this time that it will take two weeks for her to make payment, and don’t even think about giving her any money!” I said with a stern look on my face, because I knew he is a sucker and will do just that. I continued to get dressed angrily.
“Don’t be silly babes. Basically she is going to have to sell her car. She sort of run this drug scam behind his back and it went pear shape, its all stupid to be honest”
“Yeah, and that’s the sort of people you like to hang around with!”
“Look babes, let’s just forget it. Let me make up last night to you!”
He had this horny look on his face, and I knew just what he was thinking, but hell no! After he left me home alone last night, he is not getting any for a few days!
“Are you serious, because I think you’re a comedian right now, you better put on one of your DVDs and exercise your right hand, because I’m going to work!”
“Babes, don’t mess about, you can’t leave me like this!”
He took the covers off his body and exposed his full erection. It was tempting, but right now I needed to stick to my words, how dare he choose her over me!
“Babe, lie there and reflect on the sexy black and red lingerie set, with my stockings and black stilettos, which I was going to wear for you LAST NIGHT!”

It made me feel good leaving him lying in the bed like a confused child, but I cannot let him get away with this right now, he took the blatant piss. I turned around and walked out of the room without giving in to the temptation that was tearing between my legs. I could hear Bobby sighing in the bedroom and pleading with me to come back to bed. I wanted him to suffer so I quickly grabbed an apple and muesli bar from the kitchen and left the house without saying goodbye just to show him how angry I was with him. Normally no matter what, we never left the house without giving each other a kiss, but today was different, he had broken his promise already, and for that two faced bitch.
Allowing myself to think about Shanny and Bobby together last night, made my blood boil so I decided to take a slow walk down to the train station. I needed to calm myself down and ponder on my thoughts for a while.

As I walked at a brisk pace, I reflected on the past ineffectual men that I had been with before Bobby. Now there was Omar, he was so fine, intelligent, ambitious, romantic and had money. Only thing was that he had too many bad relationships which haunted him like a reoccurring dream. I mean he would have been perfect if he was not so conceited. Some men just feel that they have to constantly be the alpha male and remind people at every opportunity. He would continuously go on about how much in bonuses he would be getting at work, and how he could buy anything he wanted. The thing which got to me the most was his constant reminders of the things which he bought for his ex’s. Now what kind of man actually keeps a full account of everything they have ever bought a girlfriend! Well he bloody did, and that used to really annoy me, it’s like he was doing it for recognition, not from the kindness of his heart. He bought me a diamond bracelet once, and he never let me live that one down. Even when we broke up he tried to ask for it back, now how pathetic was that!
Then there was Simon; I should have known he would have been trouble, because he had off-key features from the start. This man would phone me up all hours of the night asking me where I was, and what I was doing. He would offer to pick me up from work, and follow me everywhere I went. I'm sure he was borderline obsessively disturbed, because all this happened in the first month of us dating!
Now Lionel, he was the bum! The sexy ass no good man, that we all come across one point in our life. He was so good in bed and adventurous. Hell, we did it almost everywhere, outside in the park, the car, the lift, in the rave, the swimming pool, kitchen table and even on the train. We had some good times, but wherever we went I was footing the bill. He was on job seekers allowance and a part time fraudster, who I must admit was not very good at his criminal trade. He spent most of his day smoking weed, and driving about with his brother. Although the sex was great, it became tedious carrying him, and I thought about the things he would teach our kids, and it was not a good look at all!
There was also Teddy, yes the fat lover. He was not that big, but squishy like a bear- soft and cuddly. What went wrong with him? He had a good job, good to converse with but he had five children for four different women, and he lived at home with his mother!
Oh yeah, not to forget Matty, sweet but to soft. Come on everyone needs a man that can defend them, and Matty was just too nice for his own good. I could walk all over him without even trying. No one wants a man that they can fully control, one who doesn’t put up any resistance. So you know he had to go!
I briefly recollected on the many others, but they were not even worth thinking about. I mean you have your first date and you think that they are the best thing ever. They tell you everything you want to hear, like they have a script for men on how to trap women like a spider laying its web. You fall for all the sweet talk, and the serenading. Then they go for the kill, and then two/ three months later you find out that the person you have just given yourself to is a fraud, a fake, you have been bamboozled and by then it is too late. You either bail out and add another failed relationship to your list of annulled encounters, or you press on and stick with rubbish, which you do not really want but are afraid to move onto another relationship due to fear of being labelled as a ‘hoe’.
Well for me, I don’t actually care. If it doesn’t work out, I move on. I don’t waste anytime waiting anymore. Yeah maybe I am a fool for the charmers, and I try their goods too quick. But who determines too quick? I mean how long does a woman have to wait to find out that the man is no good, and you’re totally incompatible! Please, I would rather find out sooner than later!
But, things with Bobby has been a entire turn around for me, I mean I have had to do a total 360 on the situation, I went back and I decided to try again! But Bobby is taking too long to adjust, to long to change and I’m searching, I am an impatient person, I want mine now. It is about time for me to be happy, I’m fed up of watching these bitches take all the good men and be happy. I'm a good woman, when is it going to be my turn?
Yeah, I am sort of cheating at the moment, but it is something, which developed when Bobby decided that he wanted to chase those useless girls, and be a bachelor like his cousin. That’s when I met Clayton, so in theory I’m not actually doing anything wrong. Me and Bobby getting back together just happened so quick, like watching a cheetah in the African Jungle chase its prey. Before I could blink we were talking about moving in together. I just didn’t have time or the heart to tell Clayton it was over, I mean he comes in handy sometimes. And it is always good to have a plan B!