Chapter Nine- Marcus

I sat in my car, with my hands clasped on my brow, listening to the sounds of the unexpected rain hitting my windscreen. Damn, I know Janet is hurting right now, but I had to tell her. I only wish that things were not happening this way, I wish it were Janet I was marrying. But what choice do I have, she has expressed herself clearly that she could never get into anything romantic with me, and that night was nothing more than one night. Did she actually mean it, or was she shutting me out? Looks like I will never know, because here I am engaged to be married to someone who I hardly know. I mean Jasmine is a sexy girl, but I don’t love her. I don’t. I can’t at the moment I love Janet, and I think I always have. I can’t believe that I have messed up like this, how could I get her pregnant!

I stared through the rain blankly. I had hoped that within time Jay and I would have rekindle what we had that night, and it would mould into a full loving beautiful relationship. I always held onto that thought, but I had needs and that’s how I ended up with Jasmine, she helped take my mind off Jay for a while.
Now Jasmine is tall and sexy, she actually looks like a runway model, but thing is I don’t know if she is for me, she is too materialistic. She is already talking about the designer buggy she wants and a matching Louis Vitton baby bag. Come on now, that’s just too much. I don’t know how she is going to cope with a baby, she gets her nails done every week, parties like it is the last rave ever and she just knows everybody on the circuit, and I mean everybody. But it is what it is at the moment, she’s moving into my house in the next few weeks once I have sorted out the decorating.
I can’t believe I am losing my freedom like this. One minute she was coming over for the odd nights during the week, then the long weekends and now were having a baby, getting married and moving in together permanently. How did I get myself into this!
Janet is perfect, she would be the perfect soul mate for me. We know each other so well, and she still looks as good as she did in college, well that is a lie, she looks even better! She is doing well for herself, I feel so bad, that it took this long for me to tell her. I think that she is hurting more than she is actually telling me, this is the first time she has not let me drop her home ever!
I need to call her tomorrow to see if she is okay. I have realised that I need her around me, she is like my daily drug, she always puts a smile on my face no matter what, and we have spent too much time apart. If I hadn’t moved out of London, things would still be like old times, and maybe just maybe I wouldn’t be in this predicament I am in now.
Looks like I am going to have to learn to love Jasmine, she is carrying my child after all.
As I relaxed back into the comfort of my warm nappa leather seat, I though to myself I better just give her a quick call, make sure that she is okay…